Stori

Lord Azinus, this must be fate. The cry~, flows through, the three nights, with all its, ill gotten, might. This needs some restructuring. It works better as, The cry flows ...

That was good. Very good. I think of the narrator as a girl who's just lost her father or guardian. But I know that no amount of wishing can ever ...

I must say, this feels as if I know the character. He lives and breathes, and that's very good. My sisters always complained that [i]appa ignored them, while he treated ...

I must say, it's good to see a medieval-themed story. They're so few and far between. Dressed for the winter - with a cloak draping him from the neck to ...

I think one thing you need work on here is tense. In the first section... The New Year will start off with a bang. in future tense. However, a few ...

You have several run-on sentences here, which isn't good. There we are sweetheart, he said, "Daddy's here to pick you up." Should be, "There we are, sweetheart," he said. "Daddy's ...

For some time, the only sounds were the faint squeak of charcoal on paper and the sigh of the sea. Love the alliteration! It's beautiful. you got closer to Com ...

So, that's a 3-7-3 poem? I think it's like a haiku, but longer. Ok, the critique. First, the blank at the end of each line is confusing. Is it blanking ...

It get the first review! Yes! Another great chapter you have here. “I have been running for my life for the last two days because of you.” She accused me ...

I think everyone else got most of the mistakes. There's just one thing I'd like to point out. The names "Evan" and "Kevin" sound almost alike, so it might cause ...

I get first review, what an honor! The first paragraph pulled me right in. No spelling mistakes, either. (I misspelled "spelling," by the way.) the resulting light spread a faint ...

There are so few errors here, I don't know whether to be pleased or disappointed. that kind of darkness was counterfeit and was more real than simply lack of light. ...

I hate to take the wind our of your sails, but the prologue has a hysterical feeling to it. this was clearly not the time for dancing, and I was ...

He throws his hands up for balance and leans into the wind. She shouts and hollers and yells Is the character a he or a she? We pillow our heads ...

My name was Adelaide Molyneux, What do you mean, her name "was"? Father often tried to restrain my wonders. I think it should be "wondering" or "curiosity." truth be the ...