Published January 10, 2009
I wish I could see you breathe again,
I still cry every now and then.
Your death hit me so fast like a violent attack,
But I know that no amount of wishing can ever bring you back.
Things would be so colourful with you here,
Yellow and blue have turned gray with fear.
How could I ever forget the day you died?
Waterfalls and rainstorms; my eyes cried.
I walked into your room and saw your sweater,
Inside the pocket I found this letter:
"I’m sorry I can’t be here forever,
I wish you luck with your life’s endeavours.
Don’t forget me and I won’t forget you,
But my time on this earth is long overdue."
Clenching the sweater tight,
You became my guiding light.
The sweater smelled just like you,
But the scent would not last forever, I knew.
To hug you again would be my dream,
Even though you`re still here it seems.
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141,613 Literary Works • 675,162 Reviews
I really liked this peom. It reminded me of when my grandma died not very long ago. It was a really good poem and I really enjoyed it.
Ninja
That was good. Very good. I think of the narrator as a girl who's just lost her father or guardian.
But I know that no amount of wishing can ever bring you back. This is too long, or I think so. Maybe try, "No amount of wishing's gonna bring you back"? ><
Thank you so much. I'm really glad you enjoyed it.
Oh, that was filled with emotion. I almost cried when I read it. *sniffles* Great job. I couldn't find any grammar errors. It was sweet and filled with imagery. bravo *claps hands* I know that I haven't corrected anything, but I can't find anything major. The only thing you might want to work on is not using so many I's. Awesome job, keep it up.
*gold star*
~Alyss