Squall

OK, I'm back. Neither of us were ready for this, our relationship wasn’t ready for this. Hrmm. Seems sort of repetitive don't you think? They were there; nervous flutters in ...

Hey there Penguin. I am back as requested. It was a village that was completely dependent on the surrounding environment; its rich oceans and thick evergreen forests gave it the ...

Thanks andy, This was a flashback so it didnt make sense if you haven't read chps. 1-9. :wink: Madeline didn't leave! Ruby did. If I was able to be confused ...

Explanation for the word Goddess being thrown in there is fairly simple. The narrator of the poem would be myself, when I do as for spiritual guidance then I ask ...

I'll just clarify some of my points. I don't quite follow what you're saying. I need more sensory imagery, but not imagery with the eyes- So, I need to include ...

No, the purpose of the pendant from what I've read is solely to indicate to the audience that it is angelic. The same message can be communicated by simply adding ...

Colin took a deep breath. He was next to present and the butterflies in his stomach were growing restless. I dislike using "butterflies in his stomach". It's a near cliche ...

Chapter 16. Taking full advantage of the time off by humming various notes at the box. This sentence reads kinda incomplete. There should be another phase to it. Who? Who ...

Man I'm a noob. Got the names mixed up in my critique. Thanks for pointing it out, I'll change it now. Sorry for the mistake, it's my fault not yours ...

Hey there Esme, it's been a while. Apparitions are not the dead called to life, but merely imprints of their old selves, Summoned for a set time to pass on ...

Actually I'm gonna take back on what I said in my post above. After actually finishing the book, I actually understood as to why Jennifer wrote it in the way ...

Overeasy, many things have been said about this and I agree with most of them. I like the way that you described the rain drop falling onto the Earth, but ...

Thanks for the critiques guys. I've edited the piece throughly and I believe that it is much more clearer and conscise than the 2nd draft. I hope you'll enjoy it. ...

Hrmm thanks for your critiques guys. Phorcys: I'm glad that you've decided to read another of my works. Thank you. :D The purpose of the piece is to write a ...

Thanks for the grammatical nitpick Jab Jab :D It was much appreciated. I've also taken the part where you are unsure as to whether they are teenagers or just in ...