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  • Poetry » Lyrical, Health Re: I did it for you

    @Ysayle Please stick solely to reviewing the poem (it's a good review by the way) and offering suggestions to the author. Saying that the author should 'invest in some empathy' ...

    Sep 18, 2015
  • Novel / Chapter » Mystery / Suspense, General Re: Solaria - Exchange

    Yea the assumption I made was thinking that the group she's in is some kind of cult, and that what happened here was related to being in said secretive cult. ...

    Aug 17, 2015
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Lake-woods

    Then you need to give more indicators that he doesn't 'swing that way', because what you have now doesn't scream that.

    Aug 10, 2014
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Lake-woods

    Oh I didn't know the MC was a guy. You probably need them to be doing more 'guy' stuff like playing video games, sports etc.

    Aug 10, 2014
  • Poetry » General, General Re: Loneliness is not that bad

    Hey there. So normally I would be reviewing things, but I love your poem so much that I'm gonna spend this time to give you kudos instead :) It's a ...

    Jul 23, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, Action / Adventure Re: Golden Lies - Chapter 1

    You might actually want to read the entire review, coz I didn't necessarily say that a submissive character is bad per se, but I did bring up some other issues ...

    Jul 17, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, Fantasy Re: Hourglass-chapter three

    Glass can be vague, but she needs to give away info that would concern them in some way, either in a form of a threat or some revelation of their ...

    Apr 15, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, Action / Adventure Re: Hourglass-chapter two

    I'll talk to you later about it. Kinda busy pondering over an assignment question atm.

    Apr 5, 2014
  • Short Story » Narrative, General Re: Karen's Birthday

    Hey there. So yea, first of all, you should consider paragraphing to make your ideas more clear and organized. Each new paragraph should talk about a different idea. Right now ...

    Dec 30, 2012
  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, General Re: Girl of Crows- Prologue

    Hey there. So a lot has been said about this prologue, and I have to say that I'm curious as to what's happening. I'm going to add a few more ...

    Dec 30, 2012
  • Short Story » Fantasy, General Re: NVM 8

    Hello again XxBrokenVainxX. I admit that I had assumed that your preference as a prologue. This is because of all the time that I've been a member on this site ...

    Dec 31, 2008
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Emigmus Chapter 2

    Hey there Penguin, as I promised. His awakening seemed to have a ripple effect, for he soon heard footsteps coming into the room. Please do not try to make your ...

    Dec 26, 2008
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Figment II

    Hey again cherylkate. I would like to first point out that I did also read the first part when I was doing the critique so that I knew what I ...

    Dec 11, 2008
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Unspoken Words - Chapter one

    Hey there googly. Once the last bell rang I was at my car, pulling out my keys immediately. What bell are we talking about here? Be more specific. I didn't ...

    Dec 10, 2008
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Killing Butterflies: a tragedy [2]

    Yes JC, that would make her sacking much more realistic. I had some sort of feeling that Charlie seems to be more of the active type than being stuck in ...

    Dec 8, 2008


The universe will reward you for taking risks on its behalf.
— Shakti Gawain