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Re: I did it for you
@Ysayle Please stick solely to reviewing the poem (it's a good review by the way) and offering suggestions to the author. Saying that the author should 'invest in some empathy' ...
Sep 18, 2015 -
Re: Solaria - Exchange
Yea the assumption I made was thinking that the group she's in is some kind of cult, and that what happened here was related to being in said secretive cult. ...
Aug 17, 2015 -
Re: Lake-woods
Then you need to give more indicators that he doesn't 'swing that way', because what you have now doesn't scream that.
Aug 10, 2014 -
Re: Lake-woods
Oh I didn't know the MC was a guy. You probably need them to be doing more 'guy' stuff like playing video games, sports etc.
Aug 10, 2014 -
Re: Loneliness is not that bad
Hey there. So normally I would be reviewing things, but I love your poem so much that I'm gonna spend this time to give you kudos instead :) It's a ...
Jul 23, 2014 -
Re: Golden Lies - Chapter 1
You might actually want to read the entire review, coz I didn't necessarily say that a submissive character is bad per se, but I did bring up some other issues ...
Jul 17, 2014 -
Re: Hourglass-chapter three
Glass can be vague, but she needs to give away info that would concern them in some way, either in a form of a threat or some revelation of their ...
Apr 15, 2014 -
Re: Hourglass-chapter two
I'll talk to you later about it. Kinda busy pondering over an assignment question atm.
Apr 5, 2014 -
Re: Karen's Birthday
Hey there. So yea, first of all, you should consider paragraphing to make your ideas more clear and organized. Each new paragraph should talk about a different idea. Right now ...
Dec 30, 2012 -
Re: Girl of Crows- Prologue
Hey there. So a lot has been said about this prologue, and I have to say that I'm curious as to what's happening. I'm going to add a few more ...
Dec 30, 2012 -
Re: NVM 8
Hello again XxBrokenVainxX. I admit that I had assumed that your preference as a prologue. This is because of all the time that I've been a member on this site ...
Dec 31, 2008 -
Re: Emigmus Chapter 2
Hey there Penguin, as I promised. His awakening seemed to have a ripple effect, for he soon heard footsteps coming into the room. Please do not try to make your ...
Dec 26, 2008 -
Re: Figment II
Hey again cherylkate. I would like to first point out that I did also read the first part when I was doing the critique so that I knew what I ...
Dec 11, 2008 -
Re: Unspoken Words - Chapter one
Hey there googly. Once the last bell rang I was at my car, pulling out my keys immediately. What bell are we talking about here? Be more specific. I didn't ...
Dec 10, 2008 -
Re: Killing Butterflies: a tragedy [2]
Yes JC, that would make her sacking much more realistic. I had some sort of feeling that Charlie seems to be more of the active type than being stuck in ...
Dec 8, 2008
