Squall

Hey there. So I'm not a big Avengers fan, but I have seen the movie (love it btw) so I'm going to base the review on that. First off, I ...

Hey again. I don't know what to say about this chapter...it's rather weird. A lot of things are happening without explanation, and new story and plot elements are randomly introduced. ...

Hey there. So yea, this kinda reads more like a script. The reason being is that you have a lot of dialogue, and you don't really make much of an ...

Hey there. So I'm just going to focus on the first part, and it should give you enough to also edit the second part. "He's coming!" she whispered to her ...

Hey there. “Fraid not, you broke our laws, we can’t let that slide. Any final words?” The cold hard barrel of the gun was pushed into his skull. Your starting ...

Hey there. So when I first started reading this, I thought it was going alright. But about half way through the story, I've started seeing some strange things. Occasionally there ...

Hey there. And it wasn’t a girl screaming, but a young man. I heard the slight crack in his voice, the tremor of his body. It was enough to send ...

Hey there. First off, I like your use of imagery, but I think you went over the top with your description. You use a lot of unnecessary, big words, and ...

Hey there. So I'll keep this brief. I had a hard time telling exactly who's talking and what exactly the conflicts are (besides the most obvious one being people opposing ...

For almost eighteen years now Gary had been avoiding adoption, for no better reason than he didn’t want to be adopted. So you’re saying he was trying to avoid adoption ...

Hey Mick. I won't say too much about the piece. Although I think you did a fair job describing what happens in the story, as well as having some sort ...

First review for you Rosey I could sense his blades cutting through the air— a dagger and a short sword. What do you mean by sensed? He attacked me with ...

Hello Bickazer. As Vera Noble stepped onto the train platform, she realized that she’d barely spoken to her mother all summer. She only realized that now? What has she been ...

Hey there Baboon. I think I'm gonna keep this brief. I tried doing a line by line of this, but couldn't. There's a montonal feel to your sentences. Your sentences ...

Hello pshxhoney. It’s cliché, because everything always starts in the basement. Ok so you've identified it has a cliche, but I think we can all tell that it's a cliche ...