Squall

Hey there SeleneForeverDream. It burned, made my eyes water, but he didn’t stop. Wait...what is making the narrator burn? Why did it have to end like this when my life ...

Hey there TheD2. After reading the poem and seeing the title of it, I thought to myself "How can the narrator have a voice even though he's been shot dead ...

Hey there Vannah[Was All She. The problem with this poem is that there is no actual theme to it nor does it answer anything. The narrator is being cheated on, ...

Hey anti-pop. What is the purpose of this poem? What theme are you trying to convey here? What is your target audience? Right now, what you have here is a ...

Hey there *writewatiwant*. Do you know How it feels to love a person That your best friend has beloved? Why would you need this rhetorical question in your poem? As ...

Hey there MJs_Magic_Pen. There are two major issues with this poem. The first one is your examples. Have a read through your poem. Do you realize that you are only ...

Hey there Unicorn. Kerani of Shira watched the dry, desolate land go by through a gold mesh screen, a silk canopy above her head, the world rocking slightly from the ...

Hey titorelli, and welcome to YWS. Jiggity and Insomnia have pretty much expressed some of my thoughts on this. Here, I'm going to give you some food for thought. He ...

Hey again anti-pop. Staggering slightly, John managed to regain his balance only to have another bag launched at him. This one caused him to drop the suitcase; bursting open and ...

Hey there anti-pop. Nice avatar. He would order eggs, sunny side down; wheat toast, and black coffee. He was so consistent with this ritual that the waiters at the diner ...

Hey there Heather, guess I should return the favour now :) Monday started this: the Monday Lilly Palour first saw that small, insignificant lump perched upon her left breast. I'm ...

Hey there Todge, and welcome to YWS. The sun set in the distance filling the sky with a blood red glow. What else can you describe about the sun when ...

Hey there Cal. This has to be my first time reviewing your work I believe lol. Anyways, here I go. There was something about being stuck in a bland, portable ...

Hey there thembigoleyes, and welcome to YWS. Sure, I’m not his only girl, but I know that and he’s honest about it. Why does the narrator think that Johnny is ...

Hey there Maki-Chan. Steel. Ripping, tearing, slicing. Spreading apart everything insight. Massacring the enemy. Two things. 1) Spreading apart? Your first three words suggest that a massacre is happe