Snoink

'Twilight,' she said, 'Sunset and it's ugly.' Should be: 'Twilight,' she said. 'Sunset and it's ugly.' Notice the period. The dusk smudge-shade was gone, his pale face too wan. Wan ...

Hmm... It seems weird that everyone knows that Chris is a werewolf and yet, they're only skeptical. Panic is a strong driving force for people, and a werewolf is definitely ...

Hehehe... a couple of things. Dialogue Grammar Sometimes you did this right and sometimes you didn't, but you need to do this right all the time. So I assembled this ...

Yes, we know what you think, but what is your reasoning ? You don't provide much facts about how our world can turn into this one, and that's the thing ...

Haha... I have to agree with Jiggity. And Sam. And Wiggy. It's catchy, but it needs some substance and real emotion behind it. So we have to see more to ...

O_o It goes from the rap sort of style to a softer lyrical style! GAH! I mean... you can't switch styles like that in the middle of the poem! So ...

As Phoenix slid down the Daishi, the other four commandos were debating where Phoenix was. "He probably wandered off to get a better position," Grif said. Um... Crysi? Is it ...

This is a really soft poem and very abstract poem, but it's not bad. The only thing that seems wrong is the word "permeates" which seems too long to really ...

Hehehe... very Shel Silversteinish of you. ;) This is my favorite poem of yours so far since, though the images it gives are very strange and unconventional, it still gives ...

I think the weirdest thing about this poem is that you tell us everything. Instead of showing us tangible feelings, this poem relies on emotional thought to pull us through. ...

Yay! And this is where I get to say, “OMG, YOU USED THE NAME KARINA!” In that spelling. Which is obviously the coolest name in existence due to the fact ...

Oh! Fun thing to do! A small thing that could upset balances Billions of life forms thrown into chaos Maybe you can add a couple of other snippets of line? ...

I like poems like this that base themselves off after a person (er... character) that you can see clearly in your mind because the picture is so much more vivid ...

Yay! I get to [s]slaughter[/s] critique WD's stuff! :D Forgive me if this sounds like a hit-and-run critique... The ground was littered with burnt fragments of gray stones and weeds ...

Yay! How very clever... not many people try to do many verses in this format since the bounciness sometimes gets repetitive or old. But this was pretty good. Now, to ...