Published September 15, 2006
Falling
Swallowed by
Nothing and yet
Somehow I feel a
Sense of belonging, that
Permeates me until I
Breathe a softer sort of darkness
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Canary word: Present
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141,456 Literary Works • 674,469 Reviews
This is a really soft poem and very abstract poem, but it's not bad. The only thing that seems wrong is the word "permeates" which seems too long to really fit in the place it's at. Still, the imagery, though abstract, is in this case fitting and it quietly leaves an impression.
So change the word "permeates" and you're set!