A Softer Sort of Darkness

by Phoenixfire
  • September 15, 2006
  • Poetry
  • Dramatic

Falling
Swallowed by
Nothing and yet
Somehow I feel a
Sense of belonging, that
Permeates me until I
Breathe a softer sort of darkness

Comments & reviews · 2
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Snoink
Review
Snoink wrote a review · Fri Sep 15, 2006 6:12 am

This is a really soft poem and very abstract poem, but it's not bad. The only thing that seems wrong is the word "permeates" which seems too long to really fit in the place it's at. Still, the imagery, though abstract, is in this case fitting and it quietly leaves an impression.

So change the word "permeates" and you're set!



Revision is one of the exquisite pleasures of writing.
— Bernard Malamud