Snoink

Hehehe... this reminds me of some of the stuff I wrote when I was eleven. Except, I never wrote prologues, and I hated third person. And, of course, my stuff ...

Hahaha... poor baby. :P I know my cousin just had her first baby and her mother told her that the baby was ugly. Which was... not cool. It's good that ...

Check the grammar. Your beginning line doesn't make sense: Today I met a lady with pupils the bled, The bled? Huh? And then you have someone [s]who's[/s] whose pupils bled. ...

Strangely enough, I did like this. :) Just read it out loud and try to smooth it further. It should turn out okay. Also, come up with a better title. ...

Sadly, you have no critiques. So therefore, I must give you a very lame critique that makes no sense, and hopefully others better in poetry will give you a critique. ...

Use spellcheck. Not Knarled... gnarled. And there's several other mistakes as well. Right now, you are using symbolism to establish a setting. That's nice and everything, but you haven't even ...

The poem seems to have ADD. Like, it;s humorous at one point and then very serious the next, so it's kind of strange. Still, you have all these messages that ...

Hehehe... since someone already commented on the substance, let's get nitty-gritty, shall we? :D I can’t stand her anymore; She keeps on knocking on my door. I can’t possibly let ...

It's too long to be humorous and too repetitious to be funny. So... um... yeah. And, you said it was for real hate, but OMG. It seems like you're trying ...

I like haikus! I may be the only one who does like them in this site, but still! I think that too many weak words are used in this. Like ...

But, for those who want to read the series in order, you can buy the books here! :D Amazon.com! ...hahaha. Shameless promotion. Um... I'll look over it tomorrow or something, ...

Since you want this to be published, I shall be frank with you. :P I read this much before I gave up: “Evan, it’s me, Punnett.” There are some phone ...

It was too quick. :P You have a nice stye and an even nicer idea. But you have to draw it out and make it last and linger. Think about ...

I have to agree with Cicero. The running together of words is an over-used effect, methinks. I mean, I can see the effect you're trying to achieve -- you want ...

Yeah.. you have all these things happening, but no colors or feelings or anything. And then the "your face" second person bit is a little funny for me. No sé. ...