Snoink

A black swoosh, And suddenly- My silent assassin Is being eaten. It sounds like the narrator's eating it. XD Let's hope that the narrator isn't human... otherwise, that might be ...

XD I loved it. Though I forgot about Brock/Tracey/what's his face, so that was really funny. And DUDE. Moltres? We used to come up with or own pokémon fanfic, and ...

I actually liked it! I mean, I guess you could say it's a soppy poem, but I love the fact that the card is unsigned and everything. It's cute and ...

Yay! I actually liked this poem! It's pretty and ironic and I like it! Okay. Some things: The Teacher held his ink and pen, his paper and his sack. "Let ...

Eep! You go from second person to first person without warning! Like... right here: It ends up like this: you’re twenty years old and lying on a couch with your ...

“Apologies, master.” Patrick said... You should be killed for that mistake. I'm serious. It's like, "Hahaha, watch me write -- and be grammatically incorrect at the same time!" This is ...

Don't be so preachy. This is just reeking of "I'm going to tell you how you should feel and how you should look at life." For poetry, this is a ...

This seems to be more of an outline for a poem than anything. Try to add on to it more. For example, for me the questions are not that important. ...

Yay! I can use a bunch of musical knowledge I have in the back of my mind for the critique and you would understand it! Imagine, if you will, a ...

Moved it to a place where it will get critiques! And posted the story on the post. Remember, if you want to have your story critiqued, don't put it as ...

First of all, this is a lovely poem, BUT you need to do spell check to make it even lovelier! And then, after spell check, read it yourself and fix ...

Okay... let's do a visualization. Pretend that poetry doesn't have any meaning whatsoever. Annoying, isn't it? Okay. Now picture a poem that has tons of meanings in it, but so ...

Interesting. I like the parts about the ocean, simply because DUDE. The ocean is awesome! With that said, I think I would rather you edit this down to just the ...

The poem is pretty cool (it reminds me of me playing with legos, yay!) but it could do with just a little bit more editing. Your readers know about lego ...

I don't know. It's kind of strange. Stanzas 1 & 3 and stanzas 2 and 4 go together with style, but stanzas 1 & 2 and stanzas 3 & 4 ...