(A/N: There's currently a HUGE spider on my floor terrorising me, so I wrote this to try and ignore it... I don't think it helped, because I just felt like it was in my lap! Eek!)
Eek!
There’s a spider, yes a spider-
It’s crawling on my floor.
Its eyes are red, with hairy legs
And it’s moving closer.
Creeping, creeping
Like a stalker
Cripes, it’s right up to my chair
Like a silent assassin
A black swoosh,
And suddenly-
My silent assassin
Is being eaten.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,828 Reviews
Hah, I like it.
Creepy, though funny.
Very random.
That was simple, but creepy all the same. *shudders* Most likely because i'm absolutely terrified of spiders. I wasn't quite sure what ate the spider at the end though. At first I thought it was a bat, but a cat fits better, and i'm assuming that's what it was.
SQUISH THE SPIDER!!!
It sounds like the narrator's eating it. XD Let's hope that the narrator isn't human... otherwise, that might be a little disgusting.
It was different. I did that about it. It wasn't so deep and confusing.
*crunch crunch* spider. yum. yeah, the being eaten at the end threw me. the rhythm is a bit erratic, but I think it works.
I actually thought the spider was eaten by a bird...and then I started wondering where the blazes the bird came from.
Verses structure could use a bit of work, three lines, for the first and two lines for the rest? Ah well, I'm a little (alot) sleepy so it's not the best of times for me to be assessing stuff...
Ah well, I like it though ^_^
~Chibi
was it a cat that was eating it???????
I liked that because i am really afraid of spiders! lol
A little random for my liking. However I did like the structure of it. The last verse was a tad cheesy for my liking
No doubt the poem was random.OMG!Look the spider is on ur head.
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