Published January 10, 2007
Broken Mother
When I'm about to walk into a disaster,
I know what's to become of it.
For even the greatest amateur artists are cursed,
With the gift of keeping their feelings alive.
And when you undermine me,
I say nothing.
What ele can be said?
You only know to hide the truth so well.
Belittling those who have yet to outgrow you,
The one true talent you posses.
And I lack all will to do the same,
I fear becoming either one of you.
Other's tortured mistakes must mask your shame.
And I'm so easy to pin the blame on;
Under the fragility of becoming lost,
And perpetually confused by what you say.
Are you my nurturer or an enemy?
Straightforwardnes isn't my natural path,
I'd rather leap in curves;
But I just don't understand you.
And as you begin to raise your voice,
You stare straight ahead.
You never bother to look sideways,
Never see the tears coming from my eyes.
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139,565 Literary Works • 672,608 Reviews
First of all, this is a lovely poem, BUT you need to do spell check to make it even lovelier! And then, after spell check, read it yourself and fix the nasty spelling buggers. Proper spelling is your friend!
The first stanza is the only one that seems to be awkward -- the rest are quite lovely. For the first stanza, ask yourself what you want to say and then write it out. With some editing, you'll have a much more catchy beginning.
But I love the ending...
Anyway, nice work! Hope that helps!
Aw thanks
But which parts confuse you? Let me know so I can see what I can do about it. =)
Wow. It's heard to explain what I feel. My brain doesn't really understand the poem very well but my heart has been deeply affected somehow. I really like it and it's a very good poem. I feel so bad for the child. I didn't understand parts of it but maybe that's due to my own ignorance. Probably