Snoink

I have to agree with Colly here. The first stanza has too many "violent" words that intend to shock, but don't. It's only until the turkey comes about that you ...

I haven't critiqued fiction in a while, mostly because I haven't seen anything that interested me or was grammatically correct, and I am pleased that yours passed both tests! Mind ...

Read this before posting in the advanced forums. Remember, you have to upload it to the site. ;)

Ooooh! I like this! I like this a lot. There's only one thing that really bugs me. "Tuesday’s" should be "Tuesdays" without the apostrophes. But I really like it... just ...

Awww... this is so cute! The only slightly weird part is when it is "bed hog" because he's a dog in every other ending. ;) And don't forget to rate ...

Nicely done! Just a couple of comments from me. ;) Soul mate. do you exist or are you a figment of my imagination? Were you around the last corner and ...

Hehehe, we love these poems! I would probably take away some of the pronouns connected to body parts, just to get a more detached feeling, because detachness (hehe, Nano is ...

I guess if you want to, I can move it. :P Anyway! I liked the other poem better, partly because this seems a little unconnected, as if the stanzas don't ...

Hahaha, yes! This poem totally reminds me of a scene in FREAK, which I love, so I automatically liked the poem. :) You didn't get help, as I laid on ...

Shel Silverstein when he gets older, no doubt. :P My hips refuse to tango and my balls refuse salute; This looked funny to me.

Then all that was left was Jak, no more Jeff, I'm not gonna say the full story of what happened that night, because honestly I don't think you care, but ...

*twitches* This poem will give me nightmares, I'm pretty sure. Because... well... it's physics! With that said, I didn't really like the rhyming of these lines: I’ve waited calculating Because ...

Hello and welcome to YWS! Drops of innocence envelope me in a shower,

I've been wondering what to say about this, because you asked me to critique this and everything, but I am slightly speechless. The word choice is excellent and the whole ...