Snoink

This has several conflicting messages. The narrator hates life and yet he would be perfectly happy if he goes to another place? Confusing! So this guy obviously doesn't really hate ...

I have to agree with kittykat. Maybe it's the several days I've spent of editing a story, but there seem like a lot of unnecessary words that were not too ...

You start off with a fairly interesting start (at least interesting for us writers anyway) but then... you get off topic. What exactly is the point you want to make? ...

I've only skimmed this, but it looks pretty good! I'll definitely read through it later and give you a less lame critique when I'm more awake. ;) Just two things: ...

Hello and welcome to YWS! Like Cade said, you'll want to do a couple of critiques before you post your own work. :) Anyway, your poem! I think, at this ...

You do dialogue like people writing Spanish do! Who would have thought? I enjoyed it thoroughly, actually. Which is slightly rare because there are few pieces that I'll sit and ...

This is kind of embarrassing. You aren't supposed to make me feel little tears coming to my eyes. :P Anyway, it was sweet. And short. So I cringe when I ...

At the moment, this is just a rant. The reader is being treated as someone who is at fault when that might not be the case at all. Passion is ...

I would probably expand it with dialogue and all that pretty stuff. I don't know... call me a fan for dialogue, but I would have her listened, bored, to her ...

As promised, I'm commenting! Sorry it took a while... my mom took one look at my room and flipped out, so of course I had to clean it. ;) Now, ...

Hehe, nobody commented on this. Weeeeeeird. :P Anyway! This doesn't seem like flash fiction at all since it really doesn't have a conclusive ending. In fact, it looks like it ...

Focus more on her rather than your feelings of her, because let's face it: it's a lot more romantic if you're writing about her eyes and such rather than, "OHMYGOSH, ...

I think you can make it more obvious, actually. Right now, it's all over the place. Is it a message against wife-beating, drunk driving, or relaxing? Or perhaps it discourages ...

I'm a horrible person and didn't read through the other critiques. Oh well. Forgive me for any repetition. :P [The Beggarboy] It was the Beggarboy who found the body. The ...

First of all, welcome to YWS! Next of all, I am an evil reviewer. XD Oh well. Here's my slightly sadistic critique of your first two paragraphs. Enjoy? :P It ...