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Snoink

The Pig Sty

  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: to take a sparrow

    To critique a poem To stare at it To think about the lip I bit The broken images are very random a spool of thread a place for tandems How ...

    Dec 10, 2008
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Helpless?

    Okay... this might be bizarre, but the coolest image here, the one that made me go, "WOW!" (it takes a lot for me to say that, trust me,) is this ...

    Dec 10, 2008
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Lonely Bones

    The first three lines sound really cool, but they don't connect with the rest of the poem. In fact, the first official line seems to be the fourth line, if ...

    Dec 10, 2008
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: How Could This Not Be Real?

    Hello, and welcome to YWS! This is going to be an MTV review, meaning that I am trying to study and critique, and it's soooo not working, so this is ...

    Dec 10, 2008
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Summer Meets Its End

    It sounds pretty, but I think you have to work on the transitions. The first and second line really don't go with each other, and you use so many images, ...

    Dec 10, 2008
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: I Believe In God

    Haha, indeed! We love it when points are reset. This poem is more of a grocery list than anything. Instead of being poetic and pretty, you are simply saying that ...

    Dec 10, 2008
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: An examination of human life

    This poem suffers from ridiculous rhyming schemes. That is, it's only purpose is to rhyme. Otherwise, it's just a laundry list of riddles. When it ends, it doesn't really tie ...

    Dec 10, 2008
  • Short Story » Fanfiction, General Re: Adventures of the SPEW Gryphon II

    OMG. FREAK isn't that depressing, geez! Making fun of my baby. *cradles FREAK in arms* And not everybody gets maimed or killed. I think... um... one character might actually get ...

    Dec 9, 2008
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Grif's Haikus (Dedicated to Snoink)

    Dude! I don't know how, but I just stumbled on these again. The first one was SOOOO funny. The other two are a bit more of a private joke. Very ...

    Dec 9, 2008
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Holdin' it down

    Hm think I'll bin this one. It really is a bit too personal. Thanks for the advice. Actually, what you may want to do is to make it so wild ...

    Dec 6, 2008
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Break threw.

    Eek! You would come up with some creepy poem about bulimia. :P Anyway! I know you want a video critique but... you're going to get an MTV critique first. XD ...

    Dec 6, 2008
  • Short Story » Science Fiction, General Re: Shift

    Dude. This has horrible grammar. There are missing quotation marks, oddly placed commas, punctuation that doesn't make sense, words that are capitalized that really don't need to be capitalized, and ...

    Dec 3, 2008
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: The mourning Moon.

    Hi kris! :D I'm just going to go through and comment really quickly on your poem, seeing as nobody else seems to want to do it... Tell the Moon to ...

    Dec 1, 2008
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: The murderer

    Hello! This is going to be really quick because I accidentally fell asleep while attempting my thermo homework, so I think I have to get to bed at a reasonable ...

    Dec 1, 2008
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Kentucky Fried

    XD Dude, we're white Californian girls with the most unsouthern accent you can stomach, but Sgt Salt and I still gave you a video critique. And it kind of sounded ...

    Dec 1, 2008


Life's short; smile while you still have teeth.
— Tuesday