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Re: Life's Whisper
Hi Jasmine! :D Normally, these repetitive poems with the same style repeating over and over again annoy me, but I actually liked this! It was cool and I liked how ...
Jan 7, 2010 -
Re: My Requiem
Hey, Warrior Princess! :D Nice use of imagery and stuff... it's really pretty! Plus, the rhyming was fantastic. This is a really solid draft. Now, consider adding more about her ...
Jan 6, 2010 -
Re: Never Won
Hey Jynx! First of all, welcome to YWS! Mind you, you've joined like... two months ago, but seeing as you only have 9 posts, I haven't had a chance to ...
Jan 6, 2010 -
Re: Because of Your Grace
Hey Mel! :D Nice poem! I agree with all of empress's edits... that will help trim the poem and make it more readable without deleting any of the content... always ...
Jan 6, 2010 -
Re: Tomorrow is You
Hey Olya! Nice poem! I liked the lyricism of it and how it flowed. The rhyming wasn't forced and the descriptions were apt. Very good! The main thing I would ...
Jan 6, 2010 -
Re: *Untitled
XD Ending = WIN. Anyway, what I would probably do with this poem is to make it lead a little bit better! Right now, it's really quite random... I would ...
Jan 6, 2010 -
Re: The Test
Hey Lily! This reminded me of some of the poems that you would find in a book of children's poems. Nothing wrong with that -- I kind of grew up ...
Jan 6, 2010 -
Re: Summer wishes
Hey fixed! Welcome to YWS! :D I think my favorite part about this poem was the last stanza, where you started talking about (specifically!) what you would miss from summer. ...
Jan 6, 2010 -
Re: Electric November
Hey, herzing! Welcome to YWS! If you have any problems, feel free to contact me for anything you want. :) Ooh... you want brutality? Awesome! ^_^ Okay... quick nitpick! In ...
Jan 6, 2010 -
Re: Hues of Blue
Hey Kat! Welcome to YWS! :D The spoiler part ruined it for me. xD Every time I started to read the poem, I would get attracted to that silly spoiler ...
Jan 6, 2010 -
Re: PEZ
I really think this poem belongs more in the dramatic poetry than the lyric poetry. :P However, you should note that as long as we each give a critique to ...
Jan 6, 2010 -
Re: A Winter's Walk
Hey July! First of all, welcome to YWS! If you need any help with ANYTHING, feel free to bug me. :) Your poem was lovely! I love the description of ...
Jan 6, 2010 -
Re: Rain
Hey Corwin! I think Empress is right on the money when she says that this seems to be more of lyrics than lyric poetry, so if you want me to ...
Jan 6, 2010 -
Re: Forever Grateful
Hey Caged Heart! :D Welcome to YWS (since I am pretty sure I haven't welcomed you yet)! Your poem was a little odd! At first it was sweet, and then ...
Jan 6, 2010 -
Re: a little dream in abstract
Hey Warrior Princess! :D I actually really liked this poem! It was rhyming and in a weird way, which totally reminded me of Alice In Wonderland ... always a good ...
Jan 6, 2010
