Snoink

Hey Stori! I don't know... I didn't really find this descriptive. It felt like you were trying to describe everything at once in as few words as possible, but I ...

LOL. If this were in WW2, this would never happen. They were too... I dunno. Hateful of each other? ;) Anyway, as far as stories go, I think I would ...

Cap'n! First of all, would you like me to move these to Fantasy Fiction novels? Right now, they're in short stories. Just figured I would give you a chance. ;) ...

Hey Jester! Two things! First of all, this poem doesn't really have a great rhythm. Yes, the rhyming is a wee bit off, but it's not bad. The problem is ...

Hey Emmy! :D First of all, welcome to YWS! Now, for your poem! Your poem is highly tautological. But I want more! Unless you are into tautology (which is entirely ...

Hey Pen! First of all, was this intentional? "Like your arm around my waste." Because I think "waist" would be more appropriate here, but I'm not sure if you're trying ...

Yeah, I think this would definitely work as lyrics. Of course, you would need to add more to it if it were lyrics, because obviously you would need a longer ...

Hey talentedwriter! :D There's this one poem I read about someone who complains to this poet that all he writes is about depressing stuff. It's called, Terence, this is stupid ...

Hey hobbit! I really like the idea that you had about words leaving scars beyond all recognition... it's really powerful! I think that you should develop this idea a lot ...

Hey Hydey! Okay! To avoid any confusion, I'm going to call "he" the person you're writing about and "you" the narrator. Just because. Anyway, a quick note, but right now ...

Hey kingolions! So! You're writing about fire... neat! There's lots of imagery that you can use and you can really make this poem awesome. :) My first suggestion is to ...

Hey BFG! So I read this poem and, on the whole, I really like it! The imagery is fantastic and I loved the way you brought in the other senses ...

Happy sushi! :D First of all, a little typo! who's brains

Hey UnknownPoet! I actually really really like the ambiguity of the piece... it makes my imagination run wild. I'm assuming that there's sex involved. Why? Why not? :D Especially since ...

I disagree with a major point of this... you're a fabulous writer. So don't worry... it's not a lie. Really. ;) About everything else? I don't know if this helps, ...