Snoink

Hey Arahnia! This is a beautiful, still poem! And by still, I mean the synonym for quiet, not anything weird. It's pretty! I love how you begin with those first ...

Hey icanbefixed! :D Okay! I love your description of the silly boy who can make the narrator smile and laugh, and yet is completely oblivious to the obvious! I think ...

Hey Fairy! This was lovely! I loved, loved, loved the shape that you did! It kind of reminded me of this one Christmas tree poem... and this wheelbarrow poem... and ...

Hey Esther! You've listened to the song, so you know what it sounds like, but we changed the lyrics to smooth it out and get rid of the awkward lines ...

Hey Cherry! I would describe the "they" that you introduce in the very first sentence, just because I can't really imagine the cross through the desert. Also, I can't really ...

Eek, I wish this had a happy ending! Not that you can actually help it, seeing that this is nonfiction, but whatever. My over-idealistic side of me wants it to ...

Hey Mike! Try formatting it like this: Aaron is walking down fifty-third street where he saw someone at a garage sale giving away mysterious objects. He saw one thing that ...

Hey VioletJune! Haha... sleep dialing. I don't do that, but I do do a lot of sleep-deprived dialing! It makes for strange conversations. Anyway, higher education? Are they in college, ...

Control Room: ALARM SOUNDS. "The door's locked and we have twenty seconds to defuse this bomb, MacGruber!" "The name's not MacGruber... it's Snoink. Give me that tape." "No! This bomb, ...

Hey TheThing! This is a very stilted poem. That's fine and all, but really, I was hoping for more drama. You have a very square kind of narrator who seems ...

Hey Kanade! :D Hmm... I like the lines, but they seem a little disjointed as they are together! I would probably reorder the sequence of the poem to: I had ...

Hey Kanade! Lovely poem. I love the sensory images that you had... the chamomile, the flower petals... it brings a softness to the poem which is very lovely and sensual. ...

Teehee. I like this chapter the best. It feels like everything's starting to come together. The only problem is you would have to fit it in somehow. You might be ...

Hey fighta! Interesting story that you have! When I saw your post in the welcome forum, I was afraid that you wouldn't have command of grammar, but your grammar was ...

Hey Ceres! I say "make breakfast" and I say "kitchen", but in reality I'm just trying to force the bread into edible pieces in the room where we keep it. ...