Skywind555

Hey, Skywind here for a review. Did you plan on the narrator to casually talk to the reader? Typically this is not a good idea. You normally don't want any ...

Hey, Skywind here for a review. Mathiew's arms lazily, and instinctively reached over his alarm-clock until it was right above it. With great fury and anger he slammed on the ...

Hey, Skywind here for a review. "They live so long... but the good ones bond with us for our entire lives." Rule for ellipsis: If there's a longer pause you ...

Hey, Skywind here for a review. Overall, it was a fairly interesting introductions. There are several grammar errors and such I'll try to point out for you. The first paragraph ...

Hey Skywind dropping in for a review. I'll focus on the grammar part of things. First paragraph: Gathering her too-thin cloak around herself, she walked faster, shoes soaked through. I ...

Hey Skywind here dropping in for a review. I don't really read poems so maybe could keep that in mind for how certain audiences perceives your work. The intentional typos ...

Hey Anico. I'll try to find some of those grammar errors for you. Silence. Everyone always gets silence when referring to what happened to Ashton, as if not saying anything ...

Hey, Skywind here. I'll see if I can help you with some grammar errors here and typos. A knock comes at the door. I stand up as Esme enters. “Thanks ...

I like how in the first part of the chapter you kind of foreshadow events in the future. It keeps the reader thinking as they read on from the beginning ...

You don't want to put dialogue between any block of text. Here, you have "First time I felt alive." between the first half of the paragraph and "I laughed." You ...

A couple things I noticed: 1. Your main character name, Sylvester Windrunner sounds awfully like the name Sylvanas Windrunner from Warcraft. Honestly, I would refrain from naming original characters t