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Re: The Emerald Treasure: Chapter 1
I really enjoyed your style and the story seems very interesting. If there is any advice I can give it's that age old 'show, don't tell'. A lot of the ...
Jun 26, 2016 -
Re: 380,000 Years
This is really interesting and it's a take I haven't ever really seen before. It's some pretty high level stuff, topic wise so I'm guessing some people aren't going to ...
Jun 16, 2015 -
Re: Letting You Go
EMOTIONS. That was amazing. It really effected me, like a lot. It was relatable, not neccessarily in a romantic way but just generally around people. You made a good point, ...
Nov 30, 2014 -
Re: Why Micky?
I think I understand the humour there and unlike some people I rather enjoyed it. Your writing style is good though it could be worked on. Its a little jumpy, ...
Nov 30, 2014 -
Re: Untitled - Prologue (Dark Humor/Apocalypse/Satire/Action)
I really like this. Your writing style is good and you've given the backstory in an interesting way which rarely happens. The one thing I think you should think about, ...
Nov 26, 2014 -
Re: Side Effects
The flow was very good and I liked the idea. It's relatable and dark but you didn't go into enough detail for it to be triggering which was very good. ...
Sep 4, 2014 -
Re: The stage
That were really great. :) There were a few gramatically mistakes but they were easy to overlooked. The story was vey good, the characters seemed well thought out and the ...
Sep 4, 2014 -
Re: Demons
I really like this. Metaphorically the message is very dark-I guess it's dark literally as well-but you didn't over do it. It flows well, I think-I'm not a poetic expert-but ...
Sep 4, 2014 -
Re: Heartfelt apologies.
It was a good poem. It was very heartfelt which is always good in a piece of writing. It is also very relatable as everyone has-probably-been either in the position ...
Sep 3, 2014 -
Re: Beauty and Poison
That was really good. I like the metaphorical idea behind it-as grim as the idea is. It shows from a different perspective since almost everything thats angsty has the whole ...
Sep 2, 2014 -
Re: Growing Older - Omerta (Chapter 1)
It's really great. It was a little confusing, not to the point where it took away from the story to much but maybe you meant that. Like you were creating ...
Sep 2, 2014 -
Re: Where's My Happy Ending?
wow. hell. it started off so happy, sort of...but then...I'm happy that you didn't go with the cheesy gross sort of love. It was very discriptive and emotive, you really ...
Aug 29, 2014 -
Re: Home's calling
Very good, i really like it. It was extremely discriptive and emotive, without taking away from the navative that you have weaved through it. You have made it both 'happy' ...
Aug 29, 2014 -
Re: Blood Pet- Chapter One
Awesome. I'm really interested to find out what will happen next. You actually made evil vampires-congradulation that usually doesn't happen anymore. Its really mysterious and well written. You create
Aug 27, 2014 -
Re: Figment: In the Suns Holy Light [Prologue]
wow. wow, that was good. Amazing. You certainly caught everyone's attention-which is what we want to do in a prologue. I really liked it and now i'm really interested to ...
Aug 27, 2014
