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Re: Addictions (2)
I ended up with a black skirt with medium-sized sequins along the waist that went halfway down my thigh except for the frill that went as low as above my ...
Apr 7, 2010 -
Re: Funeral Tears
The girl's body was unaturally still, Should be, The girl's body was unnaturally still, A squell escaped her lips the sound quite shrill. Maybe, "A squell escaped her lips and ...
Apr 7, 2010 -
Re: Addictions (1) -Edited-
“And that’s just not enough. You’ve done too much. Too much happened with the multiple girls. You’ve used too much Marijuana,” I replied, with tears in my eyes. “I can’t ...
Apr 7, 2010 -
Re: Addiction
I love this. I think you're an amazingly talented poet, :) It's just sometimes I think its hard for me to differentiate the narrator, so it's a bit confusing but ...
Apr 7, 2010 -
Re: Dear –
I know you may not understand this, and that it could cause you more grief than you were meant to bear, but it is your duty to humanity to bear ...
Apr 5, 2010 -
Re: deleted
I totally agree with you. I didn't like it at all. There was so much hype on it and when I watched it, it was honestly a load of crap ...
Apr 5, 2010 -
Re: Kisses From The Woods
these are the first two chapters of a story im writing. grade as harsh as possible. thanks!! :) Chapter 1 I stared out my window, searching for answers. The moon ...
Jan 27, 2010 -
Re: Remembrance Cafe
Hey! I like this =) It sounds like it could turn into a really great story, but I just want to correct you on a few things. Always there was ...
Jun 26, 2009 -
Re: random writing?
I slipped my sulking legs into a pair of straight leg jeans and grabbed the first random blouse I could find. Hey! Okay, so first of all, I like this ...
Jun 26, 2009 -
Re: The Inch
Hey! I really like this (: I think it's quite a refreshing idea to write something like this, because I've never read a piece like this one on YWS. I ...
Jun 26, 2009 -
Re: Solace From The Shadows
Hey! I really like this piece. I think it has so much emotion in it, and sadly, it portrays a situation where many girls have been in. Since this is ...
Jun 16, 2009 -
Re: Long Journey Home
They were ridiculously high and she was quite tall anyway, but once she had seen them she had to buy them. Okay, so I really like this piece of writing, ...
Jun 16, 2009 -
Re: The Greatest Feeling
I like this. I think you should expand on it, because it'll be stronger. Also, try "My, oh, my." Grammar mistakes :) sorry. Instead of "Falling so hard" which doesn't ...
Jun 15, 2009 -
Re: This Is What I Wish I Could Say To You [1]
This is absolutely freaking amazing. I love it. You are so talented. And now, because of your writing, I hate your father. Not your biological one. The other one. Have ...
Jun 15, 2009 -
Re: SAA: Sexually Abused Anonymous: A Memoir
I'm so sorry. As you've probably read in the posts above, this never deserved to happen to you. Ray should go burn in hell for what he did to you. ...
Jun 14, 2009
