Shine

That was really good Magyk.This is a very interesting story.I would also say that yes you do need a main character. And all other tiny errors has already been pointed ...

This I would say was nice,though I don't really have a clear idea of free verse. But In the begining it sounded a bit vague.May be adding something more to ...

All I can say is keep working on this,you can make it a lot better. The story you seem to write is of a good idea so do complete it ...

I pretty much liked it.I liked the topic on which the song was based on and you were clear and specific to the reader how the song is going to ...

A kid sat on the steps thinking He sat and sat wondering what to do When he saw a light blinking Now he knew, what to do the first thing ...

I was lost in darkness. Wondering without a light. Then I found friends, who pulled me out. I would say the starting was really good,and did u mean 'a light' ...

Alanna wrote:Why did you turn? Why did you let me burn? Why did you go? Cause I love you so. Who are you? The first four lines had some kind ...

You know you can make it much better if you rewrite it with more concentration. but I liked this part: With your words With your kisses With your soft touch ...

Crickets chirp outside an owl hoots frogs croak but he sleeps through this snoring on my lap. It needed some more puntuations. His body is so warm with each slow ...

After editing the last part its lot better . I definately liked it. Just one critique to make: the beauty of hope. My dreams of hope I didn't much like ...

The whole thing was indeed emotional and touchy. But it was more like a real story about some emotions than a poem.And the second para didn't work out nicely for ...

yoha_ahoy wrote: Words, words itching to get on a page. All calling me, taunting me, tempting me... In this paragraph the word itching didn't get along with words to get ...

That was nice.Frankly speaking I started liking the poem from the second was a bit funny too. Good job. carelessaussie13 wrote: ah, I see we think alike! I loved it! ...

I do agree with Prokaryote and cadmium.This poem no where seemed that the rhyming was forced,infact the poem is a good example of a rhyming poem. Well personal opinions do ...

Yeah as Claudette says I also liked the whole poem except the last stanza,the whole poem maintained more or less a rhythm but the last stanza was total blank without ...