Crickets chirp outside
an owl hoots
frogs croak
but he sleeps through this
snoring on my lap.
His body is so warm
with each slow breath he heaves
his body pushes against mine
and he knows
that I am still with him.
But as my body stays
with the dog
reassuring him
that all is well,
my thoughts travel
and I think back to our
first day together.
He barked at every neighbor
jumped on the table
ate all our good food
chewed up the couch.
No one understood
why we kept him.
But I do now.
His paws are tucked in
his snores are little whistles
he is deep in sleep.
He is completely at ease
peaceful
because he knows I am with him
holding him
keeping him safe and warm.
Where would this little brown dog be
without me?
And where would I be
without him?
He stirs sleepily
and I hug him close
his head drops down
resting in my lap.
And our breathing is now
synchronized.
Like the chirping
of the crickets
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
Once again, plaigarized from Stone Soup.
It needed some more puntuations.
This para was kind of sweet and once again puntuations.
As Snoink said you don't have to say or explain every tiny bit of things of your experience in a poem.You can do that in a story.
I liked this part it was nice and it more or less had a flow.
Keep writing and posting.
Aww... I love dog poems!
A suggestion for you: you don't have to tell us your exact experience with the dog. In fact, I like it vague so that I can relate my experiences with yours. So I would deleted this part:
I think this might give it a more fluid feeling.
Other nitpicks?
And, because I would delete the other stuff, I would probably include these lines ('cause I like them):
His paws are tucked in
his snores are little whistles
he is deep in sleep.
I would probably combine these two stanzas into one.
Even though I recommend cutting a lot, I do like this. Perhaps it's because my dog is having leg troubles and I find myself looking after her and petting her in her sleep, but this is a lovely poem that could be made even lovelier with trimming.
Hope that helps!