Shine

Hey Praisejoe! First of all adding some puntuations to your work would be helpul.Due to the absence of the puntuation marks I didn't really understand the poem very clearly,if you ...

I think that was a nice and well defined work. The topic,the theme you worked on was good. The only crit I can give here is the reader should feel ...

The first attempt was really good.The story deals with a very common thing thats love triangles,and yeah thats something interesting to read.;) I hardly have anything to crit about.All the ...

First of all the work is kind of perfect to be in the lyrics. Things I liked: 1.The rythm worked really too nicely,I'm not that good like you seriously at ...

Simple Good! The things I liked: 1.The writing style. 2.The comparison silver ware-love. 3.Simplicity of the whole piece. 4.Dramatic ending. The only difference: silver wears off you in minutes. These

Kairii this was really good!I mean there is so much emotion and feeling into it doubt its under "emo rock".The message in it is perfect.The only crit is that in ...

The lyric was a good attempt. The part I liked more is the chorus part. Ohh… they didn’t know what they were doing, He lost control and crashed into that ...

Thats a nice story much like reality to me because believe me I have been seeing something similar in school.Perhapoa I know the ending,hehe,just kidding.Hey its your story and I ...

Thats a story which you generally get to see in school among the teens,it is ofcourse interesting to read. Even me want to know when is the next coming up?Actually ...

That is a nicely explained and a great story.I don't think so that you need to make it more short,as making it short would mean missing out small things.There is ...

Hey Jenni,I guess your Algebra exam was hilarious!:) About the poem first thing I would say why you being so much bothered about the length? Are you running out of ...

As Monki pointed out I felt that "o-o-o-o" parts were not necessary.And that its too short to be a lyrical one.But if I forget about it being a lyric and ...

Puntuations?that would have made the poem more good to read. I too felt that there is a hidden sweet feeling in this. I only wish that you had made the ...

A poem does not matter on its length,the thing which only matters is if you had let the full meaning out in the poem. the begining I felt was a ...

I would say the first three lines were like good, but after that the last five lines you wrote were not really impressive.sorry! I would ask you to revise it ...