Published September 4, 2008
As the sea waves
softly
caress the mud-
rimmed shores
the ever-caring
mother
beholds her child
an angel
in the midst of
turbulence
she lays still
praying her loved
one home
as the sea lays
aside it's burden of day.
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142,215 Literary Works • 676,917 Reviews
not bad, though Shine is right about the punctuations.it seems to carry a sweet melody with it and it has alot of potential. great job and keep up the good work.
Hey Praisejoe!
First of all adding some puntuations to your work would be helpul.Due to the absence of the puntuation marks I didn't really understand the poem very clearly,if you could edit it I will be glad to get back and comment on the poem.
I think the contrast of the sea waves and the mother works well.
Keep posting,and sharing your works.
~Shine~