SereneSimpliciT

Aww, that was so adorable. I'm trying to figure out what dialect you're exactly using, cause it seems to be a mix of shakespeare, traditional, and something along the lines ...

Contradiction at the end...sorta... Now, I say this because there are two ways that you may of been trying to get this across A. Home, as in an actual physical ...

I don't know why...but for some reason...I felt very bored reading this. Maybe it's because I just read something far more...gripping, but I don't think that's it to be honest. ...

I wish you could see me, cause by god, I'm just applauding. I love stories like this, where the character cracks the fourth wall and actually talks to the audience. ...

Wow...very..short XDD I've never read a story this...short LOL But I will be honest that through all of this, I was just going "AWWWWWW! So cute!" But that's just my ...

Before I say anything, the word "with in" is ONE word "Within"! Sorry, that was staring right at me Other than that, just some minor grammatical errors, such as not ...

Alright, overall, I really do enjoy this piece, it's dramatic, it's interesting, and you do really grasp the emotions that the man is really feeling inside. Now, there are a ...

be honest, everything I'm about to say is probably based on emotion... I'm actually crying right now Why, you may ask? Because, I had a experience quite like this only ...

Alright, so, I will admit, this did have me guessing. I didn't have any idea what was happening and I was just as on edge as she was. That is ...