Highway

I like the vagueness of the poem, it shows that you're free. It also shows how you're a natural adventurer. It's a cool poem. Keep writing ^_^.

Helllloooooo, Leo here to review...

This is a good poem to read, "but" i feel it is more of a diary entry than a poem!!

I love the adventurous mood that you portray by keeping the uncertainty of your destination concealed...

In the second line, it should be wherever instead of "where ever it takes me"...however the latter to have a meaning, but it would destroy the adventurous mood of your poem...it would mean that it always takes you to a same place..."where EVER ".....

I think you could have made it more "poetic" , still it's good...

Thank you:-)

Contradiction at the end...sorta...

Now, I say this because there are two ways that you may of been trying to get this across

A. Home, as in an actual physical place where you live, which makes it contradicts, because you say you'll follow the highway anywhere, meaning that you would go away from home. That doesn't sound right, and in a way, is just kinda confusing

B. Home, the idea of someplace you belong and where you feel comfortable with yourself. This is what I'm assuming you meant, cause if that is so, then I really do enjoy this poem. We all want to go out and find ourselves, and with the modern age, the best comparison of doing so is driving down the highway to a destination (Life is a Highway, need I say more?)

I like the addition of the Travelers and Businessmen, because this gives hints to you. In that one line, it tells me that you are young, probably not in college, or close to that, and that the destination is not something that you have planned on going to, signifying that you don't know where you are currently trying to go with your future. Going back to age, this tells me that you're probably younger than me, though not by much, maybe roughly 13-14 years of age
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HOLY CRAP!

I just looked at your info on the side!
See! It works!

Cutting to the chase, this a very nice simplistic piece
I hope to see another soon ^^
~Maddie

Hey, nice rhythm, flows pretty well.

However, I feel it's a little bit to plain to be considered a really good poem. But then again, sometimes the simple descriptions are the most powerful, and I do acknowledge that.

But I feel you could've added a bit more into it, I dunno. But that aside, you did a pretty good job at coming up with that in just a bit of time I'm guessing. Clever

Hello Sydneys, Jonathan here with a review for you and your epic poem.

Okay In the secound line you state "Where ever it takes me," then you say in the last ling "And I'll follow in the entire way home." Not that this is a big problem you just made it a bit of a contradiction.

Okay in the last line of your first stanza you said "Knowing where to go." who is knowing where to go.

What do you mean in the secound to last line "This highway is my guide," I am probably just reading it wrong but it sound like the highway is a map with direction written on the asphalt.

Overall I think it was good it had super good punctuation and it made more sense than some.

Keep writing and don't stop.

Good luck, I hope this helped a little.

~Jonathan~

Great poem I love the flow of your work. The last part is my favourite.

"But me,

I'm in for the ride.

This highway is my guide,

And I'll follow it the entire way home."


It just caps it off so well.

Nice length too.

Great story. Keep on writing

I like the vagueness of the poem, it shows that you're free. It also shows how you're a natural adventurer. It's a cool poem. Keep writing ^_^.

Hello there! I'm fortis. Welcome to YWS, by the way. This is your first post and this will be the first review! Mind if I take it line by line? I do this so you can get a feel for what the reader might be thinking AS they read the poem.

"This highway keeps on going." This is a good first line. It makes me think of an everlasting highway that just keeps going forever. That's a very interesting image, because all roads are connected.

"Where ever it takes me," So we don't know exactly where we're going here, huh? very symbolic. Like life.

"That's where I go." So you're not fighting life, just nicely letting it take you wherever it pleases. Gives a nice, calm feel to the poem.

"Travelers and business men roll beside me," I think the words "business men" kind of disrupts your flow here. It seems too long. Maybe "truckers" or something would fit better.

"Knowing where to go." so back to the symbolism of life, although you don't really know where you're going, other people have plans and goals? I know your poem might not have a deeper meaning, but most do, and I'm trying to decipher it.


"But me," this seems kind of short and useless as a line, but if that's the stylistic choice you want, I won't complain. It doesn't take away much from the poem.

"I'm in for the ride." Ah, now I see where you're going. This is, in my opinion the most powerful line in the poem. It really says what you're about in life, and on the road. A really care-free attitude.

"This highway is my guide," Hm. Just going with the flow, are we? That IS one way to live life. Although in my experience, it never works out too well.

"And I'll follow it the entire way home." This is a wonderful end line. The destination, home, is finally revealed, although earlier you said that you didn't really know where the road was taking you. It's not too bad of a contradiction.


So this poem was really sweet and simple. That's it's charm. But I somehow felt as if it was a little bit *too* simple. It's bordering on cliché. I don't know if you were really likening the road to life, but that has been done many many many many times before. Not to say I didn't like it. I did, it just.... was a smidgen boring. People really respond to things that are different, funny, extremely emotional, give them a different view point, or are just unique. You have talent, and you obviously know how to structure a poem pretty well. You should just move on to bigger and better things!
Keep writing!
~Fortis

Hey, HT here for a review.

I like this a lot. I like the fact that you have absolutely no grammar mistakes whatsoever, and that you capitalized the first line of every letter. Sometimes in poetry appearance can be as important as the content of the work.

But, because of the shortness of this, I don't think that you need to separate it into stanzas. But, if you want to keep in this way you should consider adding a line to the second stanza to balance it out and make it equal to the first. If I'm not explaining myself very well, if you keep the stanzas, have the same number of lines in each stanza.

Travelers and business men roll beside me,

Knowing where to go.