Sam

My only problem with this: You build up this huge heart-racing, stomach-flipping conflict and then you kill it by committing the age-old crime of telling, not showing, here: 'Unadulterated rage ...

Cool poem, even cooler story behind it. Interesting concept though...moms=ugly creatures? :P

I really liked the way you described the Starbuck's setting, especially the part about the people trying to make it as complicated as possible. So true! :P

Clint! Yay! Thanks...and yeah, it's twelve. But what if I were twenty? Then what would you think about it?

Actually, you should probably post this in the lyrics forum, down by the art section.

Ah, yeah, get what you're saying. Can't wait for the next chapter!

AHHHH! Based on a true story, I know. :P (My true story...I think...unless you bought the same CD)

Yeah, Misty you're- BUZZ! Hehe, just kidding. Maybe, maybe not!

Thanks! Uh..well...I typed this with my eyes closed :P that's why it's typofrenzied. Sorry!

Ooh, the Princess Bride is pretty cool. I've only read the first few chapters but...ah vell. Cool book.

Don't use the phrases 'hardworking' and 'hard work' in the same stanza. It's clunkyish. It's not the greatest poem ever, definitely very clichèd, but it takes a lot of random ...

Thanks! Hehe...tense changes...I'm so used to writing in present tense; everything I write now switches at some point or another, no matter how much I try to crush it. :P

It's supposed to be indefinite...probably 17-1800's, but that's to the reader's discretion. :wink: THANK YOU SNOINKY! I shall work on that... Paragraphs are eeeeeeeeevil. [And I changed tenses? AHHH!

That part was a bit fuzzy... Anyway...*shrug* Fun, PMS :P

' a party full of drunken teens trapped in a windowless hallway ' I read that part. I just didn't understand what ^^ had to do with it. EDIT: And ...