Sam

Augh...after putting it off for so long I finished reading it today. 'Twas all right...but I totally went into Critique Mode after I spotted four typos in the first two ...

I just had a lollipop so you could completely ignore this post...but I laughed so hard I almost wet myself...I don't think that's quite the effect you're going for...:lol:

'that is bull!' Bull ain't gonna be around for another two hundred years. Perhaps 'that is bloody unimaginable!' It has to be rather mild though, she's the governor's daughter. :P ...

Woah, you must be psychic...I was about to go on MSN and bother you into reading it. :P Anyway, thanks! I musket knowledge isn't that great...'the gun is fully cocked' ...

Hehe...since I'm 12 I have license to pick on it...:P Just kidding. 'Twas really cute, short story. Loved the Top 5 idea. 'The name is bond...james bond...' Hehe. Very cool, ...

I'm going to have a lot of fun...mostly because I'm mad at my 11-year-old self for being so immature...*hides whoopee cushion behind back* *blabs on like 7th period math teacher* ...

I'm bewildered...I thought I replied to this...hmm. I just had to read it because of the title. Methinks Brad's going to be a shrink... The carnival references/analogies are just great. ...

First of all, it's way too repetitive. Get Rid of Stanzas: 2,4,6 Second, let's get a basic grammar lesson down, shall we? Your: possessive. Your coat's on the rack. You're: ...

It wasn't actually that wordy, you just need to break up the lines some so that it doesn't appear that way. (also, since your lines are continuations of the last ...

Beguile be into something...like...Fontroy was beguiled by Liz...:P I'm not a huge fan of rhyming poems, which was probably the reason I didn't like it as much. But however, 'Little ...

I honestly can't believe no one's replied to this...it's absolutely GREAT... I would put the word 'Skin' on the line before it. Just that one word throws off your rhythm ...

This was pretty crude, but cool nonetheless. :D One suggestion: 'I’m gonna mend his heart I gonna mend his armor, ' Either put 'I gonna mend his heart I gonna ...

This is really cool, I'll give you that. However, it's pretty dull at times. The words are great, but you really, really have got to vary your sentence length. Think ...

The only thing that bugged be was you describe too much the oh-so-dramatic decision of which bathroom to use. *scary music plays* This was absolutely great. A beautiful contrast between ...

I'm not going to nit-pick lines, because you do really well with that. And I think you'd be able to pull this off, if you had Hollywood directors and actors ...