Sam

This was über-cool...but I had to apply mental stimulus (a.k.a. blasting Green Day as loud as I can without making my ears bleed) in order to get into it. It's ...

sus·pense P Pronunciation Key (s-spns) n. The state or quality of being undecided, uncertain, or doubtful. Anxiety or apprehension resulting from an uncertain, undecided, or mysterious situation. ^^

The integrated spanish is pretty cool. If you don't understand it though, it's just something more to ignore, which you don't want. Take the line that is the most powerful ...

'He placed a single finger against my lips. “Do not kiss me like that unless you mean it or I kissed you that way first.” “Fine. It is not like ...

One thing: 'Upon further thought, he realized the morbidity of decorating a child’s room with such a violent story.' I like the idea of this, but I don't wholly agree ...

Your grammar and sentences rock, missy, so I can't pick on those. However... DIALOGUE 1. For a harried situation, your dialogue is a bit long and involved. Build some tension- ...

This is really, really cool. 'It's hard to see the light; Going along with what Bek said, I'd change it to 'it's hard to see light', instead. 'but my body ...

That *is* really cool. It's probably just my tastes, but I love these kinds of beginnings. 'But in the end, events lay as they are.' Change 'events' to 'instances'. You ...

Whee!!! Another thank you to Snoink.:D Gah, I'm horrible with quote grammar...everything else I can do...:P

'Collidewithcombatboots' Gah. I could seriously strangle whoever started that trend...some people can do that correctly, most people can't (such as myself :P). It speeds the poem up for no reason ...

This is really cool. However, a lady like her wouldn't have been able to put on a dress (and all its layers) on by herself. She'd have to have a ...

That is really cool...you stuck with your inspiration throughout (my shirt is angry...:P). ' ages have we bickered and bayed' That was the only really clunky line. Perhaps change it ...

'skip, Sean, skip to the beat of a broken drum use those legs for something useful.' Oh gosh...that's very awesome... 'Leave the past behind you Ah...someday I will.' AND SHE ...

This is quite cool, but it does need a little work. 'My twin got off easy,' Perhaps my brother? All the sets of twins I know say 'brother' or 'sister'. ...

Holy crap that sounds like my friend...from Boys Have Cooties mode to Ehmagod I Love Lipstick overnight...*shudders* 'Bonds and bones can be broken, that's why we have a connection, ' ...