Rydia

Hello word play! Your title's very clever and definitely pulled me in but maybe it should be detoorpu | uprooted instead so it feels less like you're trying to decide ...

Hullo! I think I'll round the day off with a poetry review or two :) Specifics 1. I'd like to suggest using 'altogether' instead of all together on the first ...

Last chapter then I'm off to bed :) Specifics 1. Arianna is very quick to tears in this chapter which seems at odds with how she has been until now. ...

Specifics 1. I sigh. “I have my reasons.” A dark figure appears in the distance, and we all stand at the ready. When they near, I recognize Lindon and lower ...

You know the drill by now ^^ Specifics 1. “I don’t know if you’ve met them, but-“ He gestures grandly to the vampire soldier and the lady behind them. [This ...

Hi again! Specifics 1. The room erupts into chaos as they fling accusations at each other. When one of the more hot-headed lords pulls the wind from the room and ...

Hi! It looks like you have a few chapters of this in the green room so I'm going to pick them up. If I get time, I may go back ...

Specifics 1. [Quote[]The hasty scattering of branches over a fallen bough did nothing to cover her from the spattering of rain that occasionally turned to downpoars downpours which threatened to ...

Specifics 1. "I know you're there." Bump. Thump. Badump. She could barely breathe through the rising panic. Maybe the woman was the one tracking her heartbeat. Run run run screamed ...

Hullo again! Specifics 1. The first paragraph is a little bit clunky because you have a lot of short sentences and you need just a little more variation. Maybe something ...

Last chapter for now! Specifics 1. The hard stone floor conducted cold to my bare feet. This sentence is a little awkward. I can kind of get what you're saying ...

Specifics 1. I wanted to feel as if I were contributing somehow. Yesterday I had been in the gardens, the day before with the leather - workers and tailors. Today ...

And now my diabolical plan comes to fruition because this one's in the green room ^^ Specifics 1. Flurries of icy white crystals drifted down from the sky, forming drifts ...

A few more chapters to go ^^ Specifics 1. Have Sage and Silver any experience of walking for long distances? Do they know what snow looks like? I want to ...

Hullo again! Specifics 1. Being chosen/ finding out who they're going with feels like a pivotal point of this story and I'd rather see that as a chapter than to ...