Rydia

Hmmm. I think you need to fix the grammar of this poem so here's a neater version - Mister, you say , "speak when you 're spoken to , " ...

Hey there! First off this is really sweet and you have some good lines but your structure disintegrated towards the end and it feels more like poetic prose than lyrics. ...

The others have caught most of the mistakes and to be honest, I didn't really like this chapter. It's too random for me. I mean, why has the whole world ...

I remember reading this one. Hmmm. You don't appear to have made any major changes and I think you have more typos than you did before The info dumping still ...

This is really interesting. You took a rather unoriginal idea, threw in a few nice phrases and a pretty jagged rhythm and yet... I like it. Lol. In general, the ...

Hi Adam! You have a nice fanfic here and it makes for an interesting read, especially if you know the characters involved. Just thought I'd point out your typos and ...

This is a very well written, persuasive arguement and I enjoyed rading it. Seenas it's two years old, I wont pick it to pieces but I think others should read ...

Hi there. I notice that you've posted your edited version twice in two different forums. You should probably delete one of them or have a moderator do it for you. ...

Hi there Kyte. First off, this is a little short and it feels rather rushed but I love the magical element it has. Starting with the dream/ vision isn't such ...

Hi there! I see you're new here so welcome to the site. We have a general rule that new members have to critique other people's work before posting their own ...

Am I problem? I’m always the problem! [Let's start with the typo shall we? That should probably 'Am I the problem.'] In general, I think you need to do a ...

The others have caught most of your typos and such but here are a few more and some general observations - Khor whipped [Should be wiped.] the sweat rolling off ...

Hello sharky! I love this play and I can assure you that the theatre troup will be delighted. The dialogue flowed well, your characters are dramatic and believable and the ...

I like this chapter. Your descriptions of the new characters are very nice and you have some great dialogue. I think your description of scenery still needs a little work ...

Hmmm. This was a little confusing and the whole falling thing was rather strange to be honest. A yellow beam of light shone [s]thought[/s] through the crack of the door ...