my mistakes are all the same

by shar_shar_says_rawr

Published September 8, 2007

Am I part of this reason?
They always knock you down
Am I a problem?
Again…
Stupid situations
And my mistakes
To those pitiful lies

I don’t know how we got this way
But everything is not the same
All the wasted laughter
All this was an act
Wasn’t it?
Who am I kidding?
I can be a fake
I hate all the mistakes I’ve made
Don’t get me wrong
I’m just a disgrace


Pleasure turns into anger
Relief is back to frustration
Dead ends are always built across this life
Can’t go back
Again…

I’m sick
Sick of this road I took
Can’t go back
Can’t go back
Sick staring out the window
Not getting anywhere
Again…

I don’t know how we got this way
But everything is not the same
All the wasted laughter
All this was an act
Wasn’t it?
Who am I kidding?
I can be a fake
I hate all the mistakes I’ve made
Don’t get me wrong
I’m just a disgrace

Just a disgrace
I fall down to my face
I’m just a disgrace
Break these habits?
That wont do any good
Kill this pain?
I’ll just be too numb
(Just let it go)
Can’t do that
It’s way too much
Am I problem?
I’m always the problem!

I don’t know how we got this way
But everything is not the same
All the wasted laughter
All this was an act
Wasn’t it?
Who am I kidding?
I can be a fake
I hate all the mistakes I’ve made
Don’t get me wrong
I’m just a disgrace

Kill the guilt it’s worth the pain.

Comments & reviews · 3
shar_shar_says_rawr commented Comment · Sep 8, 2007

the parts that dont rhyme well they're are screaming parts. I'm going to change it up when i add the tune. Sorry if you're not really into heavy stuff actually it's not that heavy kinda like the Flyleaf songs alittel haunting but not too heavy. I dont really know.

User avatar
Rydia
Review
Rydia wrote a review Review · Sep 8, 2007

Am I problem?
I’m always the problem!
[Let's start with the typo shall we? That should probably 'Am I the problem.']

In general, I think you need to do a lot of cutting and changing here. You need to add punctuation first. And yes, you have a little but you need much more. Then you need to make this flow better, give it a rhythm, preferably something that people are going to remember. And finally, your actual words. You need to cut out the unoriginal lines and work on the others. Your song needs to have more meaning behind it and the verses should create a story. At the moment, they're just observations but wouldn't it be better to show your reader why the persona is a disgrace and why things aren't working out. What does she/he think he/she has done wrong?



People ask if I ever experience writer's block and I just have to laugh... that's my default position.
— Aaron Sorkin