Rydia

Hello! Just wanted to say a quick welcome to the site and it's lovely to meet you! Okay. Now for the story. I think you have some really nice descriptions ...

It is very rare that I can read a piece of work (professional or not) and have no suggestions for improvement. I think that your language is beautiful and you ...

My first suggestion for this is to tidy it up a bit. The punctuation could be improved and your word choice is rather unoriginal. If you extend it then you ...

Hello again! I really liked this chapter - your descriptions are brilliant as always and the plot wasn't as action packed as usual but the relationships are all developing well. ...

Hello again! This is a very short section, isn't it? You have some interesting dialogue, still lacking a bit where description is concerned but good plot and overall, it's going ...

Hi there, this appears to be your first post? Well, welcome to the site! Could you please critique a few pieces of work before you post your next piece? We ...

Hey there! I think my first comment needs to be on the length of this poem. Now, there's nothing wrong with a long poem, in fact, one of my favourites ...

Hmm. I like this, you have some good action and the plot is still advancing well but you need more detailed description and you need to be careful to read ...

First off, this needs a rating so either you or a helpful mod needs to add one. Lol. If only I had a cookie for every time I've said that... ...

Not the best chapter so far but the dialogue is pretty good and you have some nice descriptions. Maybe expand them a little more so that the reader gets a ...

Again, some nice description if a touch repetitive in places and Knall's advancing well. You have some very imaginative plot lines and this was generally well written. Some suggestions - ...

This part was really good with some nice descriptions, some good dialogue and a really interesting plot. My main suggestion is to expand that final fight scene. I think it ...

You have a great rhythm here and the rhyme is effective but you need to fix the punctuation. You need to add full stops, put the commas in the right ...

This section is realy good! It flows well, your description is beautiful and there's some great character development. I think the relationship between Phil and Elyan is developing too fast ...

Hey there! Sorry it took so long, I've had a rather hectic day... But anyway, on to the critique. I think you have a good start here but there is ...