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Young Writers Society



Unknown Story Chap. 9 part 5

by Poltergiest


~*~*~

Knall’s head was swimming. He was lying on a cold, metal floor and he was on his back. He rolled over unto his belly and stood. He stretched and felt something different. He looked back and saw two, large, humongous, bat wings. “What!” He kept trying to turn to get a better look at his wings but they were obviously attached to his back.

Knall dropped to his knees and gripped his head. “How did this happen!”

“Well, what else could we do? You did ask for our help in Casting.” The voice came in Knall’s language. But it sounded softer than a Shade’s. Like someone knew the language but it was not its original tongue. Knall only now began to take in his surroundings. He seemed to be in the center of a circle. There were swirling pieces of metal suspended in the air, stationary. It seemed to be a decent sized room and had an upper floor with only one spiral staircase leading up.

The rest of the room was hidden beyond the balconies enclosing the metal circle he was standing on. The voice was slowly traveling down the spiral staircase.

“Anyone who calls to us must pay a price however. But, of course, you already knew that.” A tall man wearing a black jacket, black shirt, black pants and black boots came down the stairs. He had short, spiky black hair and a pointed black beard.

He came down nonchalantly and had the physique as if it didn’t matter if the universe was going to implode tomorrow. He was examining his nails thoroughly and the sound of his boots smacking on the metal stairs echoed through the empty room.

He eventually reached the bottom of the stairs and at last looked at Knall. “So, are you ready?” Knall looked at him strangely.

“Ready for what? And how do you speak Shade? And where am I? How did I get here? Who are you?” The man smiled and replied,

“What most people have called me over the years has usually been Rezlel. I usually don’t care about any of that, however. I speak Shade because I can manipulate magic, obviously. You are in The Wizards’ Tower. And you are here because I brought you here.” He looked bored at Knall as if he had something intelligent to say in response. But, of course Knall, right now, was incredibly confused, tired and sad.

“Well… Well, where’s Skyzer?” He said, just wanting to say something. The man sighed and replied, “The griffon is happy and is alive, just as you asked. Now if you don’t have any more questions, please, we must start.”

“Start what?!” The man sighed and said,

“Please! Can you honestly tell me you have no idea whatsoever is happening?” Knall nodded and the man rubbed his forehead.

“You called for help. I answered. You obviously knew I would and you obviously knew there would be a price to pay.” Knall shook his head and the man suddenly looked angry. “You have no idea what you’ve done have you?”

Knall nodded and the man looked infuriated. “How dare you! It’s not easy! Transporting someone you’re size and moving a small griffon! Not to mention the rules I broke and you making the worst mistake I believe I’ve seen anyone make! You called on us and you have to pay the price! I’m not going to hear anymore of these moronic excuses!”

“Moronic?” Knall said darkly. “I don’t care who you are, no one insults me.” Knall dashed foreword. The man held out his hand and opened his palm. Knall felt wind pound against his chest and he flew back and slammed against the metal wall. He fell to the ground and stood, clutching his chest. “!” A thin beam of pure energy shot towards Rezlel. He waved his hand lazily and the beam disappeared. He flicked his wrist upwards and Knall flew into the air.

He saw the man smile as Knall flew through the air. Rezlel motioned downwards and Knall slammed against the ground hard. Knall stretched out his wings and flapped downwards. The gust of wind shook the man but he barely moved. He motioned downwards again and Knall fell on his face, pinned by an invisible force.

It felt like his body suddenly became a thousand times heavier and he tried to move but his muscles turned against him and would not move. Rezlel walked up to him and looked at him. He shook his head and called out, “Myvel! Get down here!” Knall heard more clanking and a slightly high pitched voice. “What is it this time Rezlel?” Knall couldn’t see who it was but heard their conversation.

“Why did you bring a Shade here, Rezlel?”

“I was bored. Plus he called for us in Casting.”

“Hmm. What about the price?”

“He apparently had no idea what he was doing at the time.”

“Hmm. What do you suppose we should do?”

“If Derez were here I would leave it up to him but…” At that moment the two switched to a language Knall didn’t recognize. They seemed to be arguing but then they seemed to come to a decision. Knall heard one pair of footsteps walk away and heard another get closer to him.

He felt the weight drift away from his chest and he stood. He towered over Rezlel and the man looked fearlessly at him. Knall felt his new wings gave him even more of an advantage in intimidation but the man looked completely bored. “What is your name, Shade?” He was speaking in Shade and Knall replied,

“Knall. Why?”

“Knall. You called to The Four Great Wizards for help while you fell from the tower that night. With every calling comes a price. We usually take the payment in souls but when a soul meets us that is particularly in touch with magic we usually take them under our wing. We train them in the deeper circles of magic and teach them to manipulate it freely. This is your decision. However, if you do not choose this path, we will take our usual payment.”

“So, if I don’t agree you’ll steal my soul.” Rezlel simply nodded and smiled slightly. Knall sighed and replied, “I know I don’t have much less to lose but, how harsh is this training going to be?”

“As harsh as you make it.” Knall rubbed his forehead and said,

“You really try to make things as straight foreword here, don’t you?” Rezlel nodded again and Knall said, “Fine.”

“Excellent. Myvel! He accepted!”

A feeble shooing moan came from somewhere above. Knall looked confused but followed Rezlel up the spiral staircase. Knall’s wings nearly got caught many times on his was up. When they reached the top, dim sunlight filled the room. A long curving wall was off to the slight left and on the right was a large area. It was basked in orange sunlight and had a very large glassless window to the left. It stretched far above Knall’s height. In the back and right side of the medium sized area was a tall bookcase filled with colorful books.

There were comfortable chairs placed in a half-circle with a knee-high table in the center. Sitting in one of the chairs with a massive blue book was a man with very long, straight, white hair. He was cleanly shaven and was wearing an open silver jacket and a white-silver shirt. He also had dully silver pants and white boots.

He examined the book carefully and turned the pages expectantly. “Myvel. We have a new student. He might even survive the first lesson.”

“Shh.” Said the man who was apparently Myvel. “I need to read to find out if Dacob escapes from the imperial fleet. Shh.”

“So you guys here basically do absolutely nothing?”

“Now, now, don’t judge to quickly. We have done magnificent things over the long years we have been alive. I’ll admit, it might not be glamorous constantly but, it does have its high points. But now that you’ve all been introduced we really must begin the training.”

“Shh.” Rezlel took Knall away from the small library and out into the right side of the area above the spot where he awoke. Off to the right was an even smaller area that didn’t hold very much, except for a door. It had no knob or any hinges. As Rezlel approached it burst into thousands of tiny fragments. He stepped through them and Knall quickly followed. He looked back and saw them replace themselves and become a sturdy door again.

Knall was now in the middle of a curving hallway. One passage leading off the left and the other to the right. There were the same glassless windows on each side. They were tall and stretched the length of the hallway. The windows here to, basked the hallway in orange sunlight.

There were a couple of doors on the inside wall of the hallway. Rezlel led him down to the right and across the spotless glimmering floor. Knall barely fit in the hallway with his new wings but could have one protrude out of the window. He wasn’t sure which was more uncomfortable, having to keep them both tucked in or having one freely stretched therefore putting more strain on the other.

Knall looked out on the landscape and saw a river running out from under the tower and a small forest far in the distance, almost lost to his vision. He quickly noticed he was losing Rezlel and had to jog to catch up.

On the opposite side of the door they exited from they stopped in front of another door. As Rezlel neared, it dissolved into thousands of pieces and he stepped through, so did Knall. The room inside was large and circular. Rezlel turned to face the materializing door and waited for it to solidify.

He rested his hand on the wall next to it and a hand-shaped beam of light shone where his hand rested. Knall felt the room shake and heard a soft hum. “What-“ Rezlel pointed up and the shaking stopped. The door dissolved and the two stepped through it.

Knall was looking out on the same landscape but was viewing it from much higher. “How did-“Rezlel shook his head and replied,

“I can’t tell you, but, let’s just say it took lots of planning and even harder work.” He walked down the curved hallway to the left and Knall followed. They came up to another door which dissolved as well. When they entered they stepped into a dimly lit room with a large center.

It had a small surrounding balcony over the arena I the center. As the two entered the balcony was already above them, with visible, wooden pillars to keep it held in place. Knall couldn’t see anyway to get to the top but thought nothing more of it. The center arena was filled with sand and a few smooth rocks placed in it.

Rezlel stepped into the center of the sand area and snapped his fingers. The room shook and the walls moved backward, making the arena even larger. As the walls moved back, bamboo shoots shot up through the sand with sharp points. The ceiling extended and stretched on forever.

The room was now almost nine times larger than it was when they entered. It still grew and large, randomly shaped rocks, larger than the original room jutted out of the sand at random spots. Bamboo shoots also came out of the walls and balconies; so long they nearly reached the center of the arena. Small beams of white light shot through the ceiling that was so far away Knall couldn’t even see it. The odd rocks stretched so high that they couldn’t be seen as well.

Rezlel was still standing in the center of the arena and lowered his hand. He smiled and Knall looked completely dumbfounded. “How-“Rezlel raised his hand to silence Knall.

“You will know all if you complete the apprenticeship.” Knall nodded and said,

“What do I have to do first?”

“I highly doubt you’ve had much time moving in your new wings. I am going to train you so you fell like they’ve been there since birth.” Knall nodded once more and stood straight. “The first thing you have to do is catch me.” Rezlel shot straight up and left a gust of wind in his place. He flew into the darkness and Knall lost sight of him. Knall ran out into the sand arena and looked up. The rocks and sharp bamboo shoots stretched on forever.

Knall beat his wings down hard. The sand blew apart and he soared upwards. The rocks flew past him and he continued to flap. He saw a bamboo shoot grow closer and he adjusted his body and discontinued flapping for a few second. He soared past it and continued flapping.

He saw another shoot sticking out. He readjusted his body and avoided it. But in doing so his opposite wing scrapped against the rock. The wing automatically came in towards his body and he spiraled. He dug his claws into the rock and stopped himself from falling. Dang! He looked down and saw the sand very far below.

Knall climbed past the shoot and pushed off of the rock wall. He beat down again and soared upward again. There were more shoots and he maneuvered skillfully through them. His wing caught on a shoot and tore it. It felt like someone just cut off his arm. He beat down one more time and landed on a shoot.

He held his wing and put his hand over it. “.” His wound glowed white and it sealed itself. He stretched the wing and took off again. He soared around for several minutes, searching for Rezlel. He eventually landed on the summit of a rock. He looked around and then looked up. The other rocks continued to stretch on and on. He took off again and soared higher and higher.

He watched his shadow shimmer on the rock as he flew higher and higher. He flew past a crack in the rock, then another. The rock soon had thousands of cracks crawling everywhere. A bamboo shoot shot out of the crack and nearly skewered Knall. He barely missed it and flew away from it. All around shoots were coming out of the cracks and attempting to pierce Knall.

He flew heatedly to avoid the shoots but couldn’t get away because there were rocks on both sides of the area he was flying in. He swerved this way and that to avoid getting pierced by flying bamboo shoots. He eventually cleared the area and stopped to take a rest. He felt sweat roll off his forehead and wiped it off. Dang, what kinda training is this? He looked up and saw only a few hundred feet left of room. “He has to be at the top.” Knall took off again and made it to the top of the tallest rock. He looked down and saw the sand floor erased by the darkness.

Knall’s eyes were constantly searching for Rezlel. He heard a gust of wind and turned around. Rezlel was floating there. He smiled and dove. Knall jumped after him and felt the wind blow away any sweat that once occupied his forehead. The two dove fiercely and both were falling far to fast to stop if something were coming. Rezlel flipped over to face Knall while he fell. He smiled again and flew off to the right.

Knall only now saw the top of a rock racing towards him. He opened his left wing which made him swerve right. He missed the rock by inches and pursued Rezlel. The wizard stopped abruptly and swerved right, in between two rocks. Knall opened both wings to stop and flapped hard to turn and chase Rezlel.

The man swerved quickly and Knall followed slowly. Rezlel suddenly dropped again and Knall dove as well. Knall was closing the distance but saw the sand floor coming closer and closer. Rezlel smiled and peeled away right before he crashed head-first into the sand. Knall beat down as hard as he could and sand flew everywhere. The beat slowed him but didn’t break the fall completely. He slammed into the sand floor hard and got quite a bit of it in his mouth.

He got to his knees and spit out a pound of sand. Rezlel drifted down slowly and looked at Knall. “What kind of training is that! I nearly died and swallowed three tons of sand!”

“You did better than I had first hopped but fell short in the end. You need to learn the limits of your new wings, and then exceed them.” He walked around Knall and headed for the door. He turned and snapped. The rocks receded into the sand as did the shoots. The arena shrank and Knall stood following Rezlel to the door and stepped through its dissolved pieces.

Rezlel led Knall down the hallway and back into the moving room. But this time when the door opened he saw the scenery from a lower perspective. Rezlel silently led Knall down to the left and to a door just like all the rest. It dissolved and inside was a room to the left and right. The room to the left had a table on the edge of a glassless window and had a sink and stove. It also had cabinets with food and ingredients.

The room to the right had a couch facing a window and two bookshelves with a table and comfortable chairs centered around it. The room to the right led into another room which had a bed, a couch, and another bookshelf.

Knall explored the room while Rezlel stood at the doorway. Knall came back and said, “Thank you.”

“You will be staying here for the rest of your apprenticeship. Tomorrow we will continue the exercise. Fare dreams.” Rezlel left and Knall sat on the couch facing the window. The room was basked in orange sunlight, making it even more beautiful. He sat there peacefully and closed his eyes, letting the cool wind tap him on the face. He smiled and fell to sleep…


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2631 Reviews


Points: 6235
Reviews: 2631

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Fri Sep 28, 2007 10:09 pm
Rydia wrote a review...



Again, some nice description if a touch repetitive in places and Knall's advancing well. You have some very imaginative plot lines and this was generally well written. Some suggestions -

He rolled over [s]unto[/s] onto his belly and stood.

The rest of the room was hidden beyond the balconies enclosing the metal circle he was standing on. [Either 'the metal circle he was standing in' or 'the metal platform he was standing on' would be more natural.]

“Please! Can you honestly tell me you have no idea whatsoever of what is happening?”

Transporting someone [s]you’re[/s] your size and moving a small griffon!

“You really try to make things [s]as[/s] straight foreword here, don’t you?”

Knall’s wings nearly got caught many times on his [s]was[/s] way up.

He also had [s]dully[/s] dull silver pants and white boots.

“Now, now, don’t judge too quickly.

The windows here[s] to[/s], basked the hallway in orange sunlight.

It had a small surrounding balcony over the arena [s]I[/s] in the center.

I am going to train you so you [s]fell[/s] feel like they’ve been there since birth.”

He saw a bamboo shoot grow closer and he adjusted his body and discontinued flapping for a few seconds.

But in doing so his opposite wing [s]scrapped[/s] scraped against the rock.

He got to his knees and [s]spit[/s] spat out a pound of sand.

“You did better than I had first [s]hopped[/s] hoped but fell short in the end.

Fare [I think you mean fair?] dreams.

Overall, quite a lot of mistakes in this one but well written.




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194 Reviews


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Wed Aug 01, 2007 9:38 pm
greenjay wrote a review...



Knall’s eyes were constantly searching for Rezlel. He heard a gust of wind and turned around. Rezlel was floating there. He smiled and dove. Knall jumped after him and felt the wind blow away any sweat that once occupied his forehead. The two dove fiercely and both were falling far to fast to stop if something were coming. Rezlel flipped over to face Knall while he fell. He smiled again and flew off to the right.

too

SWEETNESS!

-the jay of green




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378 Reviews


Points: 1215
Reviews: 378

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Mon Jul 30, 2007 8:36 pm
sokool15 wrote a review...



Okay, I could crit the rest of your stories, but since I've already read the whole thing, I don't think I will. This is my last crit for this story. From now on, you're on your own! *laughs maniacally*

Good job! I like the addition of wings on Knall...it's sweet. Even though I think you stole it from me! *sticks out tongue*

I like the four wizards, too.

Er, yeah. Yours gushingly, 8)





I would rather die of passion than of boredom.
— Émile Zola