Rydia

I love the title for this piece, Max, but I think you need to expand on some of your images. At the moment it seems a little fragmented and the ...

Hello again! I really enjoyed this chapter, probably because I'm fond of Knall's character, but you have some good description and some nice action. Try not to say 'Knall' so ...

I think adding the grammar would be an excellent idea Reyu but for now, I'll try to just look at the wording of the poem. I don't like the first ...

I really like this but I think you need to tidy up your grammar and add a few more stanzas. Here's some changes I'd make - Miss was at the ...

Okay, now for some general suggestions for your plot. A lot of this seems unoriginal but then, it's hard to be original these days so try to put an original ...

Hi again. In general, this wasn't a bad introduction but you're right, you need more character development. I suggest you work on the boss a bit first. Descriptions of her ...

*Moved to Other Fiction* Some good changes for the grammar but you still have a few awkward sentences so maybe take another look at the suggestions made on your first ...

I think you have some lovely imagery here but you need to expand on those images and some of your rhyming sounds a bit forced. A lot of it is ...

Hello again! The usual general feeling that some more description would be nice but you have a good plot and it just needs tidying up a little. Here's my suggestions ...

Hey there! I like this. I think you have some interesting characters and some good dialogue but you need to add more description and some of your grammar is a ...

Hey there! Just thought I'd let you know that we like members to critique two pieces of work for each one that they post so write a few revies before ...

This is a strange but interesting little poem. I think the structure needs some work because at the moment, you have your line breaks in some irrational places but the ...

I think you did very well. The flow needs some work in places but generally, it's very smooth and you have some great imagery. Here's a quick line by line ...

This is an interesting little piece of work. The concept of silence has always intrigued me and you give enough hints in this for the reader to wonder why the ...

I liked this. I think you could have added a bit more characterization and more descriptions of the characters and setting but so far, the plot is good and you ...