Rydia

I think this could be improved. You have a lovely idea but you need some help in conveying it I think. Here's a line by line with some suggestions - ...

Hmmm. I liked this and I'm interested in finding out where it's going to go but I have a few suggestions - I [s]just[/s] sank further into my seat and ...

I thought this was interesting but it needs a more conclusive ending and I have a few small suggestions - Ameyo: Kai! Please, It won’t do any good to go ...

I think that they're interesting thoughts and very well written. Two minor suggestions and then I shall leave you (and your thoughts) alone :wink: - They are exchanged so commonly ...

I think it was a very kind thought. And I love the use of the quotes. Especially the second, it's one of my favourite quotes. As for criticisms, I think ...

Well it could be longer. Naturally the poem is limited by it's form but your lines could be longer in themselves and you could add more imagery. Also, it needs ...

I think it's really good, very creepy. Perhaps you could have Cameron show a stroke of remorse at the end but to be honest, I don't think there's anything wrong ...

Hello again! I like this, a very pretty little poem. Here's a few suggestions - Rolling in, fading out Almost like a breath [I like the imagery here but perhaps ...

Hello! I think you've made some huge improvements here, especially where dialogue and description are concerned. In fact your description of the room is beautiful! Here's a few suggestions - ...

Hmmm. I'm not sure I like the riding the dragon. I think it's abit unoriginal but the imagery was nice and in general, it was a reasonable section. Not my ...

Hello Suzie! Initial thought - you have a chilling, well written little story. Second thoughts - this would work really well in present tense and if the ending is more ...

Hello again! A very short section so just a few comments this time - Derez stooped down and scooped up a[s]nd[/s] smooth rock. “Uh… [s]H[/s] h ow, exactly?” They all ...

You have some lovely desription here but your grammar and typos let you down a bit. Plot is going well though it's still a little unclear in places and I'm ...

Hi there buddy! Hehe. You have an interesting piece of work here but I think your imagery could be increased and some of your grammar and dialogue needs a quick ...

This part was very slow and I think you could have spent more time describing the leaving of the boat and such. Instead of saying that there was clearly history ...