Rydia

Chapter 3...The end of middle school [colour=red][I'll start with a slight criticism as to format - I think you should write this as Chapter 3 - The end of Middle ...

Hey there! Okay, first of all allow me to comment on your format: it needs work. You've got this huge block of text that's off-putting to any sane reader, not ...

This is for Jared's Message contest. Reviews are greatly appreciated! Memos of Bleeding Hearts [Love the title: it's a little simple but very fitting.] Dear Mum, I’m leaving. I’m sorry, ...

Top Secret Cobra: Half-Human (As always, comments and constructive criticism are welcomed) Ok, just so you know, this is set years after the other two extracts, when humanity started using ...

It's real good for someone inexperienced in poetry. You should try writing it more oten, Jelly Bean. I think you could get to be good at it =) But with ...

Hello dear! *Snuggles* I understand why - Your [Why the capital for your? It might be interesting to capitalise your and you throughout to show the importance f this other ...

You've got a couple of critiques already and I only scanned them briefly so I apologise if I repeat anything the others have said. Here you go: I've Had You ...

I was clueless back then. I can’t believe I did half the things that I did. But I would not want to redo it. “Why?” you may ask? Because if ...

Sam put his pants back on and stumbled to his feet. Muir had already closed her eyes and fallen asleep, for all of the world to see. Sam reached down ...

Sam pedaled his bike down the street, in a hurry to get a good distance from his house. The evening air rushed past him, chilling him beneath his black jacket. ...

A necklace is all that I can remember……… [Just use three dots for an eclipse. And I’m not sure about this introduction. It seems too fragmented and just a touch ...

Chapter two Nana Medley hadn’t been sleeping well. Every time she shut her eyes, terrifying shadows coursed their way across her mind. She snapped them open and sat up, her ...

Okay, here you go dear: A red string Ties two souls together Creating a crossroad between Separate lives. [Your beginning is clear and interesting but not as poetic as it ...

Hey Brad! I really enjoyed this. It struck me as different to your usual style which threw me at first but it's nicely written and you have some good characterization. ...

Sorry you've had to wait so long! We’re thinking about you [I rather dislike your title. I think you can manage something much more original and interesting than this.] We’re ...