Rydia

Hey Jack! A few particulars first: that hides its bones in the rooms where collisions used to happen, [I'm in agreement that this line is a little out. I'd suggest ...

And for part two, good to see it's looking a little longer than the first =) Bluefire was crossing the camp when a voice hailed him. He recognized Firestar. [This ...

Hey there Stori, I be here to give you a review =) "Bluefire! Bluefire!" The warriors' chant send a surge of satisfaction through the cat once known as Spark. At ...

Hey there! Looks like you've already had some good advice from Suzie but I'll see if I can't add my own as well. I know [s]your[/s] you're not kind [Also ...

This is a really cute poem. Your rhythm is rather out in places though so I'll give some specific advice first and then a couple of general tips... I drew ...

This is a really cute gift and normally I'm not for the bubble-gum rhyming style of poetry but it's fitting here. I'll give you a quick line by line, show ...

Hey there! Posting old work isn't always the best of plans because it's difficult to advise someone who has probably advanced beyond the level of skill being exhibited but I'll ...

The topics of conversation are much more interesting and fitting with the Raven's character than the discussion of 'TIA' last time, though the think to drink thing was a little ...

I'm not sure that I feel justified in posting for such a short a comment as I am going to make but ah well. Again, it's smoothly transferred to third ...

The cart rattled from side to side, first over the cobblestones of Londlow’s streets, then onto the road that led out of the city [You need either 'and' here or ...

Just a few specific comments to add to those above: ‘So, do we kill it?’ ‘No. We’re going to look at it.’ ‘Druuuuuuuth. We looked at it all yesterday.’ ‘And ...

Lovely piece of writing, dear and I'll just answer your questions because there's nothing glaringly wrong about the main base. You've honed it to near perfection and I'm liking it ...

Hey there! As the previous critiquer mentioned, you have a good poem here but ah, there's always room for improvement, yes? Here's a little advice and a few general comments ...

Blue, Purple and Red [Ask yourself what's interesting about this first line? Does it catch the reader's attention, spark an image or an idea, make them think? No. It's just ...

“For Christ’s sake, Mella, get up.” His voice was low, a grumble [s]the[/s] that hurt more than the shouting did. I could hear the voices from the lights, the people ...