Royboy

The wars that once ravaged the underworld are now a thing of the past although there are still some small skirmishes every now and then but there has not been ...

Are you entering your own contest? I didn't find any grammatical errors, so your're off the hook with the comma nazi. XD What I didn't understand was why he couldn't ...

Just a forwarning--I'm a comma nazi. I am going to tell you about something that happened to me. Something that doesn’t happen to many people… or any… This is a ...

"Bet they could run you through soon as look at you!" Missing something? Twenty seven years later, and the son of Mary Jane Merrick limped through Liverpool Street Station. Either ...

It began to rain, hard. I don't know if that comma is really needed, unless you want to give it more impact, but I think the sentence following that does ...

There's more, right? It doesn't seem like an ending, but then again it does. I agree with Alainna. The last sentence was great. I'll have to keep myself updated more ...

It was short! I mean compared to everything else you've written--which isn't bad, it's just different. I liked the basic idea and structure of it, though I think it gets ...

Yes, I agree. It's soooo complete alone by itself. Chaos is breaking out behind me, so don't mind if I kinda get distracted. I really think it's great to contrast ...

Oh yes I really liked it, especially now that we get to find out more about Strick. The dream sequence was just a bit confusing, but I eventually made sense ...

Yes! Emotional stuff. My only nitpick here is that dialogue isn't always everything. I know it moves along the story well, but I feel like I'm drowning in the talking ...

Noooo don't end there! Great. Now I have to wait longer. *sniff* “And then you left, and though I was happy, I knew the shit was about to hit the ...

Oh OH oh. This was really good. I like the fact that it started out with a letter. It kinda drags you into it, especially when a few paragraphs later, ...

M.... I, too, agree with Clau AND Maya. Don't worry, you can get better with practice, but try to learn from your mistakes rather than fix them and keep going ...

EEK! I hate that name, Patrick. Lol, I guess people really DO change your perception of characters... cute. I like it, despite the fact that the Patrick I know is ...

I left later that month, all of the boxed had already left in the truck a few days before we had to leave. Boxes. Mhm, the whole mood was rather ...