Rjjr_vectra

Some punctuation errors, but other than that, good. Great imagery by the way. Keep it up!

Punc.tuation. Work on. That. Other than that. It's has detail. and some good wording. Keep. It up.

Details, details, details. It's mundane and felt like you've rushed this. Had me laughing at the end though, very nice.

Um, elaborate. Right now, it's x , an abstract variable. Make it tangible. Please. You've got something good here.

I didn't really think I was going for a story - just a moment in time, like a haiku. But in flash fiction. And sorry for the grammar mistakes, I ...

Is this for Jake or for me? Because it's not really a compelling read if the poem's for one person. You even said it yourself, it's for Jake and not ...

Sorry, it's just hard for me to put things in perspective of the reader. I'm too lazy to try, I guess. But I added a stanza just to explain who ...

Made some capitalizations. Anymore than that, I'd be redefining a flashing arrow. :\

Well that's what people criticized me for - my vagueness. I thought wrapping it up would make people happy. Please make up your minds o.0

Kit, I feel like a book right now. Well uh, to make things clear glue is made out of horse hooves. And the treadmill is because he tries to run ...

Um, no. I just write what comes to mind, and what came to my mind was poor flowers :) I'm not as poetic when I'm writing with a serious voice, ...

Brilliant poem, brilliant critique schmorgashborgh. That made perfect sense.

Heck I thought drugs were schizophrenic...Cause one time I saw an anti-meth commercial and this girl was delusional (and strangely, meth makes her obsessive-compulsive and makes her wanna clean everyt

Well uh...He was hallucinating. Like while high. Nothing really happened. I guess I'm too vague, and haven't the slightest clue on how to move on after the kid committed suicide. ...

Yeah, question mark has too much pause in it. Also between metronome and Eternally, doesn't sound like you need a comma there. Don't also make/force your lines end-stopped all the ...