Renard

Well the title of this alone intrigued me. And I wasn't disappointed. :) I love the fact you have poked fun at the use of pathetic fallacy, few writers acknowledge ...

Ha ha. This is actually really funny in its way when you get to the end of t. Nice twist. I don't find it clunky, but it is a little ...

Hey there! Well, you have a brilliant opening line. I really like it, a brilliant hook for the reader's attention. Good job. However, your next line is a little bit ...

You have obviously spent a lot of time thinking about this. And it's great! Not sure I would agree with all the comparisons, but the piece is well written and ...

I don't know whether this was based on the book/film or if it comes from personal experience??? But either way: you've created a really emotional, heartfelt piece here. It sounds ...

Right. There's some really great lines in this that convey the warped mind of your protagonist: Robert. 'The images that have been transcribed in my mind haven't been good enough.' ...

Okay. So for review purposes, I was going to slate the @rse out of this piece. But then I realised what the purpose of it was. It's actually brilliant! You've ...

Favourite thing about this work? It's cliché, but it works. 'Death will set me free.' This sort of line has been used many times but the way you convey the ...

This is a really deep and thoughtful poem. You should be proud of this work. I love the way you have organised the lines and their length. The last line ...

Dark, sexy. Well written. The length of the lines weave and you've separated ideas into stanzas expertly. Good job. Can't fault you. I think, what shows your main talent is ...

I’m imagining everyone around me being dead one day. Inconsistency issue sorted as far as I am concerned. It shows that you've really thought about what you're writing and you've ...

“He’s been shagging some slag from the rugby club, and now he’s ditching us.” Love the line. Just not sure whether it is something a parent would say to her ...

Overuse of the word 'piss/pissing' in this chapter. Effie seems to have grown staggeringly immature. This is an odd change for your protagonist and as a reader, it doesn't come ...

I'm starting to notice a pattern here. Your name is Skins and your protagonist is called Effie. And you're British. Hmm... Are my suspicions correct? Regardless, your writing is still ...

Another great chapter. I love the fact that you've chosen to make Zack the tutor. Brilliant twist! You know how to surprise your reader. You can share the confusion at ...