Rei

The only series I read are the ones based on movies (Star Wars) and TV shows I like (currently Smallville, formerly Buffy and Angel)

Naw, you just go to the library.

Okay, I read what you added, and same comments from before apply.

So what if it's not main attraction? If you rush through stuff, the reader either gets bored, has trouble following it, or could miss important information. But more importantly, it ...

Well, there's a Canadian author this kid kind of reminds me of, who I already mentioned, Gordon Korman. The first book be published was written when he was only twelve. ...

Everyone should ignore the poll. I was in a bad mood when I did that. But I'm not liking this as much as I did when I wrote it. I'm ...

Actually I'm tired of hearing how much my other stuff sucks. This is exactly what I wanted to hear. Thank you muchly. I know it seems like it's in the ...

Not critical. Just confused. I wouldn't have minded as much if it had been indicated that this was just an opening rather than an entire piece. Since there wasn't, I ...

Why would you post only four paragraphs?

I'm confused. What was the point of this? Do we have a future Gordon Korman in our midsts?

Once again, not a suicide story.

I don't think either of you have any idea how early this takes place. You're off by about 1200 years when you say civil war. Corsets didn't exist yet, and ...

This reads more like a summary than an actual story. It's a well-written summary, but it's missing a lot. Like dialogue, visual descriptions, internal monologue from one or more of ...

Yeah, I think I'm going to have to go with everyone else on this one.

Thanks everyone for taking the time to read it. If anyone else reads this, I could really use specific responses to the monologue.