Reakeda

B y the time I caught my balance, we ended Slowly the line grew with more families behind us, but we slowly got closer to the buffet. - Using slowly ...

This was just enough to make me curious. I can't decide if I like what I've read or not, but the way you ended it was leaves me wanting more, ...

Rylan’s medical training immediately wondered how he had died, but without seeing any wound on his back it would be impossible to tell without turning the body over and examining ...

Eve would have normally suggested coffee, but everybody liked their coffee black, but they all liked their tea with something in it. - This sentence really bugs me. You used ...

What is it about love that makes it hide[s]s[/s] behind bushes, posed and ready to jump , to grab the first prey it sees? I would make "posed and ready ...

Blue lakes I see,as still as can be Is a n honour I cheerish,with the gift if sight Buffle rowmed, and the wolf did cry I'm sorry.. but who taught ...

I stumbled a bit as read this, but that might just be because I was trying to read it out loud without looking over it first. :P Over all, I ...

My first word of advice would be to post it in single spaced format, putting proper spacing between stanzas. Lose the format you used. It makes it a bit hard ...

but people just assumed they had not pleased the gods and they deserved their punishment. One of the most heavily used gods and goddesses has been the Greek deities. - ...

*growls* This may not be as good of a critique as it originally was. My computer closed the page on me and caused me to lose the entire crit so ...

Hey, This is great.. I actually had to look at it a second time with a more critical eye to come up with anything at all constructive.. There's one typo ...

Okay, this could just be me, but it seems like where you have the comma in the first and third lines of each stanza, you should be splitting that line.. ...

For the most part, this is really good. I agree with the suggestion that Penguin gave, but I have one more thing I'd like to add. The last stanza bugs ...

"As if mocking her of her mistakes" - this line just doesn't sound right. Maybe try omitting "her of" making it "As if mocking her mistakes" ? the fourth stanza ...

I liked this. The description was excellent. The picture it painted sent shivers down down my spine. There is one thing, apart from the mistakes Aet pointed out, that I ...