PsychicNinja

hey Zoltan! Well, first I read this in your Word document, and I corrected everything I'm gonna correct here! :smt021 He was then greeted by Cere. I think it should ...

Hi Lyn! I'm sooooo sorry that I'm just getting around to this. I was kinda busy this summer, but now school started and I have more time at home, so ...

Omg! Hey Jared! You wrote something! Well, besides what they said, I'll point out some grammar errors. One sunny afternoon in a forest abundant with animals a squirrel climbed up ...

Hi! Well this next bit is good. A little to short to do a good crit, but I''ll do my best. There's one point where you changed from saying "Jens" ...

Good job, Zoltan! Although, it wouldn't half as good if I hadn't edited it before you posted. :smt045 But you still didn't take some of my advice. So here's the ...

Griff, it's based off the story that I posted earlier. (Read that if you want, too :D ) It's posted in fan-fic the same reason mine is--it has elements (e.g. ...

Hi! I think Jabber and weekend_warrior covered up most of the things I was going to mention and suggest, so I'll try not to repeat! :wink: This part was great! ...

Oooo! Sounds great! The Governor sounds like an interesting character, that you should explore more! This sounds like a great plot set-up! Can't wait to read more! ~Timea PS. You ...

Hey! I didn't read the second chapter, but the first one was great! The plot sounds like it's going to be really good! SW rocks, by the way! Sounds great, ...

Hmm..interesting. The story is getting increasing more complex! This is much better! I notice just one grammar mistake, I think. The Jedi seems like an interesting character! I hope you ...

This was pretty good. I understand your story more. I agree with Jabber and Hunter, Vader was out of character. And once again, I will not repeat what the others ...

Hmmm... Okay, a few things. 1) Vader...um..yeah, what Hunter said. (I really don't want to repeat.) 2) It's a little confusing. Why is Vader all mad? (This is the first ...

Oooooo! Very good, Alanna! But there are many grammar mistakes! And sometimes I had no idea who was talking! Would you clean it up a little, please? You NEED spacing! ...

hey Lanna! Well..someone of the others up there nailed it..and some are completely clueless... Anyways, this was really funny! I like it! But sorry it's Zekk! Jaina and Zekk! :D ...

Hey Lanna! Ok! I really, really liked it! This one made me cry (again). :cry: :cry: You captured Mara very well. I especially like what you did with 'gem'. Since ...