z

Young Writers Society



Redemption

by EstelPax


Dear Anakin,

I know you can probably see me writing this and you know what is happening in the galaxy, but I still love to write you. The galaxy is not the same as you left it, Ani.

Tenel Ka is a mother but she will not reveal who the father is, Jaina was court-martialed by Jacen, you mom became a Jedi Knight, and so many other things.

Anakin, I guess it was your destiny to watch over me but I still wish you were here.

The person who has changed the most is Jacen, Ani. Your Jacen is gone and he was replaced by a cold, calculating jerk that shoots at his parents. Anakin, if you were here you would stop this madness.

I will always love you.

Tahiri

Taking the letter, Tahiri places it among her other treasures.

“One more letter I wish you could read, Ani.” Standing up from her desk, she walks outside toward his memorial on, Zonoma Sekot. “It’s your life day today, Anakin you would have been Twenty-Seven.” Sighing softly Tahiri starts to sing a half remembered song.

Wherever you go, What ever you do I‘ll be right here waiting for you,

Whatever it takes or how my heart brakes, I will be right here waiting for you. "Happy Lifeday, Anakin, I wish you were here." Taking her lightsaber Tahiri cuts a lock of hair and places on the memorial with a flower and wish.

“Tahiri?”

“Don’t interrupt her, Elena.”

“Why, Danni?”

Because today is her lost one’s Lifeday.”

“ Who is her lost one?”

A strong man, Danni replies thinking of Anakin Solo.

“Who was he?”

Elena, you know of the Solos?”

“ Yes, Han and Leia helped save Zonoma Sekot, Jaina was the trickster and Jacen the slayer of Shimmra.”

“ Well, many years ago there was another Solo.”

“ What was his name?”

A slow halting voice begins to speak. “Anakin Solo and I met him when he began training on Yavin IV and we became best friends.”

“Then what happened, Tahiri?”

“I got captured by Kae Kwaad and I got shaped and Anakin came and rescued me.”

“He must have been very brave.”

He was Elena, she replies thinking of Anakin. Then he stayed with me on the Errant Venture and then he Corran Horn and I went to buy supplies and Anakin and I ended up in tiny, leaky locker while Corran searched for Vac suits.

“ Master Horn of Corellia, right?”

“I see you know your Jedi.”

“Finish the story, please.”

Tahiri takes a deep breath and continues. “While in the dark locker, I couldn’t see him and we talked.”

“Then what happened?”

“He said he’d rather be there than any where else and then I felt his lips on mine and … Tears start running down her face as images of Mykyr flash through her mind.

Then what happened, Elena’s cheerful voice pipes in.

Noticing that Tahiri is unable to continue Danni continues.

“ They went on a mission to stop the Voxyn and he died saving her.”

“ I’m sorry Tahiri, Elena says softly.

Anakin, she sobs, come back , Anakin, I love you, come back. Then a breeze starts to blow and sun light warms Tahiri’s shoulders.

“ What’s happening, Elena asks timidly.

“I don’t know but I feel the Force building, Danni replies absently.

Then a mist settles over Tahiri shoulders as if some one was holding her. Then the mist clears and its place is a tall, brown haired man.

Anakin, Danni mouths in shock.

“Tahiri, it’s all right I’m here and I’ll never leave you.”

Looking up Tahiri sees Anakin. However, you’re dead ,she stammers.

“ The Force felt your unending anguish and with the help of two very old friends decided to let me come back to you.”

“ Anakin is it really you?”

“ I love you, Tahiri Veila, from that day on Yavin IV.”

Anakin she shouts as she starts to cry again with happiness.

“ Anakin, it really is you, she cries as she stands up to look at him.

“ Welcome back, Anakin Danni says softly.

“ Danni isn’t it wonderful?”

“ Yes, Tahiri it truly is wonderful.”

“ Happy Lifeday, Ani.”

“What’s my present?”

Standing up on her toes Tahiri pulls Anakin head down for kiss.

On board the Millennium Falcon Leia Organ Solo is awakened by a Force explosion. Then she feels a familiar presence. “Anakin she mouths in shock. It was probably a dream she mumbles and goes back to sleep. Oblivious to her awakening Han Solo sleeps on.

On Coruscant Jaina Solo, recently Jaina Solo Durron is sitting through a long meeting with her two former lovers Jagged Fel and Zekk when she feels the Force explode. Unaware that she has stood up and is shouting Anakin is it really you and Is it a dream repeatedly.

“Jaina are you all right, calls an anxious Zekk.

Fine but did you feel the Force explode?”

Zekk looks at her confused, no he replies. Then a knocking sounds.

“Jaina your husband is here calls Jag.

“Send him in.”

“Jay, did you feel the Force explode, Kyp Durron asks worriedly.

“Yes, did you?"

Kyp nods in reply.

“It felt like Anakin and I wonder if I just dreamed it and you picked up on it?”

“I don’t know Jay but I sure wish Luke was here to answer us.”

On board the Jade Shadow Luke Skywalker is awakened by the Force exploding.Beside him, Mara Jade is similarly awakened.

What just happened, Luke she asks slightly annoyed.

I felt a presence he begins. Just like Anakin, they say at say time.

“What in force has just happened?”

“I don’t know, Mara.”

“Well, I intend to find out. R2 set a course for Zonoma Sekot. “

On Zonoma Sekot Danni and Elena are joined by Telki.

Is that Anakin, Telki mouths in shock.

Yes, Danni replies.

"I had felt the Force building and wondered why."

“Hello, Anakin and Tahiri.”

” Looking around they see that Telki has arrived.

“Telki we didn’t know you were there.”

Telki smiles at them knowingly.

“Welcome back, Anakin, the last time I saw you was on Mykyr.”

“But he’s back and isn’t a miracle.”

Smiling at Tahiri’s excitement, Telki nods.

“I’ll contact Jaina, Master Skywalker and your parents.”

“We’d rather do those ourselves, Telki.”

However, you’ll want sometime together Telki interjects.

We’ll have forever, Telki, Tahiri replies.

" Anakin, I would like you meet some one.”

"Who?"

My, adopted, daughter, Elena.


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Sun Apr 13, 2008 8:05 am
Jadeite says...



Excellent work! I really liked this fan fiction. I'm very impressed. Well done!




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Sun Sep 30, 2007 1:00 pm
Stori says...



Well... I'm not sure what's going on. At first I thought you meant Anakin Skywalker. You might want to clear that up.

And when is this set? I'm not sure.




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Mon Aug 20, 2007 1:51 am
Shafter wrote a review...



Cool idea! Unfortunately, I didn't understand a lot of it simply because I don't know the expanded universe as well as some. However, it seems like a good idea and you've got some interesting characters emerging. I like the way you began the story with a letter; it drew me in right away.

In general:

> Always enclose dialogue in quotes. ("A strong man," Danni replies.)
> Usually when you have an -ing word, there's a comma preceding it. (...Danni replies, thinking of Anakin Solo.)
> In dialogue, especially three-way dialogue, make it clear who's speaking. Either through dialogue tags (he said, she said) or beats (small pieces of action such as: She stared at the ground. "I don't know.") That way readers will have an easier time keeping track.
> When you're skipping to a different scene, paragraph twice.
> I would've liked to have seen more description. I hardly know what any of the characters look like, or their surroundings. Don't drown me in details, but a bit of description here or there would be nice.

Again, this is coming along! Continue editing and writing in this one. I think you have a gift for fanfiction. Keep it up!
Cheers!
~Shafter




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Mon Aug 20, 2007 1:29 am
EstelPax says...



This part has a song by Jesse McCartney.

Walking towards Elena she bends down and gives the ferroran girl a hug.
“Anakin, this is my daughter, Elena.”

“Elena this is my…”
Husband, supplies Anakin. Really, Tahiri asks eyeing him nervously.
"Yes, Tahiri."
Yes, Anakin she screams excitedly.
Then they both begin to sing a recent hit Because you live by Jesse Mc Cartney.


Tahiri:
Staring out at the rain with a heavy heart
It's the end of the world in my mind
Then your voice calls me back like a wake up call
I've been looking for the answer
Somewhere
I couldn't see that it was right there
But now I know what I didn't know

Both:
Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
Because you live, girl (Anakin sings)
My world has twice as many stars in the sky (both)

Anakin:
It's alright, I survived, I'm alive again
Cuz of you, made it though every storm
What is life, what’s the use if your killed inside ( Tahiri)
I'm so glad I found an angel
Someone
Who was there when all my hopes fell
I wanna fly, looking in your eyes

Both:
Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
Because you live, girl ( Anakin)
My world has twice as many stars in the sky ( Both)
Because you live, I live ( Anakin)

Both:
Because you live, there's a reason why
I carry on when I lose the fight
I want to give what you've given me always

Both:
Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
Because you live, girl (Anakin)
My world has twice as many stars in the sky ( Both)

Both:
Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
Because you live, girl (Anakin)
My world has everything I need to survive (Both)

Because you live, I live, I live (Anakin)




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Sat Aug 18, 2007 6:07 pm
EstelPax says...



Sorry and Thanks.
LANNA




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Sat Jul 28, 2007 8:56 pm
Twit wrote a review...



Uh, it isn't. You're mising HEAPS of quote marks, and you have too many commas in too many places to count. And when you have a paragraph you need to leave a line, and you need to leave a line between each bit of dialogue as well.

But carry on, this is a good idea. :)




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Sat Jul 28, 2007 6:50 pm
EstelPax says...



It's good now.




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Sat Jul 28, 2007 6:18 pm
PsychicNinja wrote a review...



Oooooo!

Very good, Alanna!

But there are many grammar mistakes! And sometimes I had no idea who was talking! Would you clean it up a little, please? You NEED spacing!

But otherwise, from what I was able to understand, it was very good. I liked it.

~Timea





Today I bent the truth to be kind, and I have no regret, for I am far surer of what is kind than I am of what is true.
— Robert Brault