Prosithion

O.O I wouldn't classify this as poetry! Rather disappointing. It's too short to even give a critique. Please add to it, or something, and put it in stanza form. Best ...

It wasn't supposed to rhyme ^_^

don't flood the forum. It's not nice.

hahaha Hilarious. Disturbing, but hilarious, none the less. the last verse works so much better now. Delightful peice. All I can say is 'cannibalism is bad, very bad... criminally bad!'

thanks girls Clau, the last one is supposed to be men... hold on...ok fixed it.

Scene 4: The morning sun shone brightly in his window as Albrecht rolled over, his headache attacking with vengeance. He opened his eyes to slits and peered at his bedside ...

no, Inkweaver, the 'my lord' is the messenger referring to Pericles. Thanks anyhow. I'm glad you liked it. ^_^

What is this? 'cause it sure isn't a haiku, and it is a very very short poem. I'd add on to this if I were you.

SCENE 3 The high Party Member’s villa was an elaborate building on the western outskirts of the city. There were perhaps two dozen cars and limousines parked along the road. ...

I edited the ending with one I had. How is it now?

interesting, but why is is rated R? The rhyming and rhythym are a little bit... convoluted. You may want to touch up on that. Pretty good

I agree with Smanda4. It is short and to the point. Other than a few errors in rhythym, it is nice and reads interestingly. good job

umm,interesting, but it invokes an image so sureal, that it's hard to imagine properly. Tone it down a little. Perhaps change the format. Reading it as one big stanza is... ...

Interesting image that you created, but oh my God! There isn't any rhyhming. It's very choppy and there isn't flow. If you can change those things, this could be a ...

I say that I'd have to agree with Phorcys. work a little on this and it could be really good. Make it longer. If it doesn't work mas a quatrain, ...