Poopsie

This isn't really the kind of writing that needs such criticism. What I mean by that is its supposed to be a character study fulfilled by everyday descriptions and thoughts ...

thanks man! Just to clarify when i say pissed i literally mean he got up and went to the restroom. Also a marine layer is a layer of fog (mist?) ...

Microsoft paint kept erasing half the poem, I had to make it small! :v

Thanks for the input! I completely forgot to proof read for grammar stuff, so that may be why things are capitalized when they shouldn't be and some sentences are punctuated.

Thanks so much for your input :D. Your interpretation of this is exactly what i was going for so i'm very relieved you like it. I'll just keep the formatting ...

Here's a thought. Look over this and watch for words you could take out to help the flow. Look for words you can change as well. Well done bud.

Wait u are not anime grill anymore. WHERE IS ANIME GRILL. *Just kidding. It is. Well done :>

Desu Kawasaki my dood

*le gasp

HEY YOU DO THIS MORE ITS GOOD

Ruv u rong time babe

ooh the wording here gives me the shivers. How many drafts did you go through.

WAOW

Same

bro. Hit up Shia.