Pippiedooda

I don't see why you weren't sure on this part, I thought it was great! I love the sense that Lily is getting closer to finding out what is going ...

Hi me again :) Sorry it took me so long to get round to reviewing this part! Carrying the girl in his arms through over the threshold of the temple ...

Hi! :D I haven't reviewed the second part but if you like I can? I did like this chapter, I think you could make some adjustments to keep the excitement ...

This was really good! I'll try and review as best I can but really there isn't a lot to improve, I am really curious as to what is going to ...

I'm back :D I don't understand why more people aren't reviewing this :? Even though not a lot of action happens in this one you're adding more to the mystery ...

:(! That's so unfair!! I feel awful for you, I wouldn't have thought this was real from the sound of it, it just sounds too unlucky and cruel. I hate ...

I know this is more gruesome but I actually really liked it, I agree with the comments Nutty made but shall also go through some more of my own :) ...

:D! Love the finished version!! Like I said, the description of Zack is great- awful but great (if you get what I mean), I found a couple of little mistakes ...

Hi! I looked over the last couple of chapters so I've got an idea of whats going on, I love the storyline :D He hadn’t told Jackson about him and ...

This is amazingly written, there really isn't much to pick out. I think you introduced the two main characters well, I'm really curious as to how this is going to ...

Onto the fifth chapter! :D I've got more overall comments than nitpicks here but I shall point out the little things first ;)- as always, my comments are just suggestions ...

wow :shock: a lot happens here- I had to focus more to make sure I understood correctly, but its all making sense I think :D I've got quite a few ...

Hi dudette! This is a really good story, I love the angle you have taken and you've written it really well too :) I will point out what I can ...

Hi becki! Great ending, I really love the twist! :D You have made it really hard for me to review as there is barely anything wrong :cry: Eliza has pointed ...

Hi me again :D this story just gets more and more interesting, I can't find many nitpicks but will point out what I have noticed :) Rustling of leaves alerted ...